Vegan Twice Cooked Mushroom and Vegetable Stew

Not a photo of my stew, but a pretty photo anyways. I don't have a camera right now!
My stew sort of looked like this ! Photo taken from here !

My friend Haellen was raving about her awesome twice-cooked beef stew, and it inspired me to make a veggie version!

It is so thick and Earthy :) Filled with that savoury Umami flavor that I crave on -7 degree days ..

Here is the recipe ..

(As always I made a huge batch to have enough for leftovers and didn't measure a thing .. )

Boil a pot full of water with quinoa, brown rice, salt, and a few bay leaves. These things cook the longest so they go first. I also added dried mushrooms in this step. I have an "assortment bag" of dried shrooms that my mom sent me, and they smell like the inside of a Chinese grocery store .. but taste delicious cooked and add a really Earthy Umami flavor to the broth. Cook for about 20 minutes.

Add buckwheat to the soup and cook for 10 minutes.

Add chopped potatoes, carrots, celery, rosemary, thyme, and cumin and cook for 25 minutes.

This is the first half of the soup. You could definitely just stop here and have a delicious soup ready to eat. I, however, set out to make a thick stew, so the recipe continues ..

After you have cooked this part, transfer it to a food processor or a high speed blender and process until it is  smooth. (Note to self: This creamy soup tastes so much like gravy for mashed potatoes, but is totally vegan! Really looking forward to making some mashed potatoes in the future and using the soup as the saus! )

Now, follow the above recipe all over again, but also using the "gravy" that you you just made .

This way when it is done, you will have a thick veggie stew with plenty of "chunkiness" to it from cooking it twice, with double ingredients!

YUM.

I think this soup would also be good with added coconut milk, chopped scallions, and tofu, but I don't have any of those things on hand so possibly I will try that another time!

Eating Oranges? Save the peels and treat yourself to a yummy body and face scrub! (and more!)

I've been eating a ton of cutie clementines and oranges lately. (Literally ate about 20 of them for breakfast the other day!) I'm also pretty into DIY everything right now, so I figured there was something I could do with the mass of orange peels I had left from my feast! There totally is! (Buy organic if you can :)

First, I peeled the clementines (and oranges.) Then I ate the clementines. Then I placed the clementine peels on top of our wood-burning, soapstone stove (fireplace) to dry them out and create a sensational aromatherapy effect in our house. The peels released their amazing oils into the air as they dried; our home smelled redickolos. a.k.a. divine, amazing, stupid awesome! Something about citrus, fire, and coldness outside just clicks! Hear that snow? It's time for you to fall! Anyways ..





If you don't have a sweet wood burning stove like we do, consider getting one because they are beautiful, fun if you're a pyro, and will save you a ton of money on gas or electric because (especially a soap-stone one like this) will heat a majority of your house (depending on the size of course) using wood. The Amish have even invented a device that turns old newspapers into bricks that you can burn instead of wood! Click HERE to see this crazy tool!  If you still aren't convinced, come over and feel the amazing flames licking your cold toes and bum until you are :) Or.. Use your oven on a low setting to toast/dry the orange peels until they are hard, but not cooked. (If they are turning brown or black, they are done. Too done. Remove from heat and let cool!) The color should remain relatively similar to the raw peels, they will now just be hard. There are several things I plan to use these dry peels for now ...

Here is how I made a delicious facial and body scrub:



I made the dried orange peels into a powder using an electric coffee grinder ( A mortar and pestle will work too :) I added ground cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves (about a pinch of each) to the orange peel powder. Next, I "wet" the mixture with almond oil (that had a hint of vanilla essential oil in it). You can use any type of neutral oil: coconut oil or butter, olive oil, hemp seed oil, grapeseed oil, even vegetable oil if that's all you've got on hand! I only added enough oil so that all the mixture got wet, but not soupy. As you can see from the photo, the scrub stays formed into a heap on a spoon, and isn't runny. Use this to scrub your face and body ( do it in a dry tub ) to exfoliate your winter skin all while receiving aroma blasts of citrus and spice .. amazing.

 
  Scrub Scrub Scrub! Scrub Scrub Scrub! Scrub your boooty! Scrub your booooty!

 Other ways to use the orange peels:



As a spice :) Add whole dry peels or a powder to rice or quinoa with a jasmine tea bag while cooking or steaming for a beautiful citrus hint. The photo is above is tonight's "rich poor girl dinner ;)" I boiled organic short grain brown rice and organic quinoa, 1/2 tbs orange peel powder (could have added 1 tbs.), a tbs. miso paste, and sea salt in a rice cooker until done. Simple. Filling. Tasty!

Roast root vegetables like beets, potatoes, and carrots with it.

 Add the powder or whole dry peel to green, black,or earl grey tea while steeping to add a unique flavor.

 Boil some dry orange peels in water to freshen the air in your home and use for aromatherapy .. "The oils of orange peels can be used as aroma therapy to treat the conditions of depression and anxiety."

 Aging olive oil with orange peels (fresh) will add a zesty flavor to the oil which you can then use on pastas, salads, breads, etc.

 Add dry orange peel powder to your bath water for a luxurious aroma while you cleanse!

 Apparently.."Herbalists recommend consumption of orange peels as an effective method of lowering your blood pressure. The Chinese have used the peels of bitter oranges as herbal medicine for thousands of years."

Eat up! While mixing the orange, nutmeg, cinnamon, clove combo I mentioned above (for the scrub) I realized how tasty some raw "cookies" would taste with the exact same spices! I will make them and get back to you about that!

Much love and oranges,

Sofie K! 

Juice Recipes!

I'm always interested in knowing what tasty fresh raw juice concoctions people have come up with. Here's a website with some yummy-sounding ideas!

http://www.wholefigured.com/component/k2/item/37-my-favorite-juicing-recipes

Love and Juice Power!
Sofie K

Low-Fat Vegan Java-Chocolate-Pumpkin Seed "Brownies Bites" Recipe!

Here is a photo tutorial on how to makes these yummy, vegan, semi-raw Java-Choco-Pumpkin Seed Brownies for a healthy dessert or a sweet snack!

These treats are: Vegan, Gluten-Free, Baking-Free, all-Natural, Energy-Giving and delicious!

You will need:

A food processor and small coffee bean grinder

Ingredients:




About 20 pitted dates
5-10 dried apricots
Dash of: cinnamon, nutmeg, dry ginger, and 1-2 small pieces of dry clove
About 1-2 tsp. ground coffee beans (if you have whole coffee beans, use your coffee grinder to grind into a     fine powder.)
About 3-5 tsp. ground raw cacao nibs
Agave nectar
Pumpkin Seeds (Raw)

Grind about 1/2 a cup of pumpkin seeds into a fine powder with your coffee grinder, place on plate and leave on the side. (We will use this powder to roll our brownies in. You can also use walnuts, almonds, shredded coconut, or some more of the cacao/coffee powder if you do not have pumpkin seeds!)
















 Combine dates, apricots, ground cacao and coffee, spices, and about just enough agave nectar to get the ingredients "wet" (about 2-3 tbs.) in food processor. Pulse with "S" blade until your ingredients look something like this:

Roll mixture into little brownie bites (ball-shaped). I like to use a bit of water on my hands while rolling them because it binds them better and gives the surface a smoother texture :) Plus it makes them nice and sticky for the next step!













Roll the brownie bite in the pumpkin seed powder to fully cover it with pumpkiny yumminess :)

Last Step: Enjoy your delicious, healthy, creations ! (Store in the fridge or freezer in an air-tight container :)





Have fun! In-Joy! Bon-Apetit!

Sofie K :)

Feeling less than optimal and Couch to 5K

So the past few days I have been feeling really lacking in energy, I've had a headache, and just not feeling like doing anything!

Makes me think of the youtube vid "shit new age girls say" - "I'm soo detoxing right now!" LoL. Is that what is going on for me? Maybe, I haven't eaten junk food since my binge after the 5 full days of raw food I did.. I forget when that was, maybe 2 weeks ago? As for bingeing, I've been doing pretty good. Every time I have the urge to starve myself or skip a meal, even though I am hungry, I remind myself that being healthy is more important than being thin and that eating healthy will allow my body to find it's own unique perfect weight naturally.

Does this mean I've been eating whatever I want? Yes - and what I've wanted has been natural, vegan (some fish though), yummy food cooked from mostly scratch at home, lots of fruit, veggies, hummus, and dates, quinoa and brown rice. I have definitely over-eaten on the heavy foods (date-nut balls, quinoa) because of random impulses to eat when I wasn't hungry, but I am happy to report that it has not been anything as extreme as a full-on binge, more like an extra helping of something when I really was already full. I don't like the feeling of myself when I am too full, and I definitely am hoping for the day when I can just eat enough and be satisfied, and eat only when I am hungry.

I have been relaxing on my few days off, and hoping that my check-off for the Reflexology treatment with Lisa goes well tomorrow at the spa.

I am thinking of beginning the C25K (Couch to 5K) program when I return from Chicago. It's a 9 week program to get you from not running at all, to being able to run a full 5K (3.2 miles) or 30 minutes straight :) I'm excited about it !

I also have been being more regular with Yoga lately, which has been nice. There have been several days at the yoga studio where I have felt very strong, but today (a home practice with friendlyuniverseyoga.com) I felt pretty weak and tired.

I know there is one very specific lifestyle choice I still have to change which will affect my health dramatically in a positive way, I am sure!

Peace, Love, and Healthy Choices,
Sofie K

Quick & Simple Quinoa Dinner :)

You know what I LOVE? Good food, simply and fast! Sometimes I like to spend a few hours in the kitchen making an elaborate 4 course meal, but when I come home from work or a day out, I just want to feed myself something nourishing and yummy with minimal effort.

So that's what I did today!

Pictured is a wonderful dish of cooked quinoa with veggies and a side of salad.

Gluten-Free, Salt-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian  Organic, Fresh!






Here's the recipe:

Cook quinoa until tender and "salt" with Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids. (For those who have never tried liquid amino's, it comes as a "spritz" bottle and tastes like soy sauce, but with a lot less sodium, no preservatives, artificial colors or flavors, and they are non-GMO.) I cooked about 4 cups of quinoa to have some for leftovers.

Add 3-4 cups of mixed greens to steam for 1-2 minutes until wilted, and 1 cup of chopped bell peppers of all colors. Cook for 1-2 minutes and mix into quinoa.

Add a teaspoon of hummus to the mixture, some more Bragg's to taste and enjoy!

For the salad I just used mixed greens and balsamic vinegar with a tiny bit of walnut oil for dressing.

//edit//

Although I love how cooked food tastes, and my mind sure does still crave it still, I notice what a decrease in energy and increase in digestion time I experience after eating it. Pretty wild since this was a very healthy meal according to most people's "standards." I did eat a lot of food and that (I know) has something to do with it, but I have been eating mostly raw (some conventional juices) during the day: fruit, smoothies, salads, juices, veggies, and in the afternoon/night having some cooked food. Wild.

Bon Apetit!

Sofie K

Latin Night Dinner Recipes - Spanish Rice with Tilapia

A photo of Spanish rice I found on the internet .. ours also had corn and blackbeans :) Yum!

I cooked an amazing meal last night! I think this dinner turned out the best that I have ever cooked for several reasons - I was in the mood to cook and was inspired to try something different, I was cooking for people, and I actually looked up and based the dishes on recipes instead of just "winging" it ;)

Not our house, but it was just as beautiful :) 

Everyone was hungry by the time dinner was ready, and a candle-lit room with a salsa lounge soundtrack added to the lovely ambiance in which this food was enjoyed.



Dairy Free, Gluten-Free, Egg-Free

The Main Dish: Spanish Rice and Orange Zesty Tilapia

Fish: Marinade Tilapia (We had about 4 big pieces) in : 1/4 c. oil (I used veggie oil, but coconut oil, olive, or canola would work here), zest of 1 orange, juice of 1 orange, 1 tsp. oregano, 1/2 a jalapeno, and one bunch fresh cilantro finely chopped. I marinaded the fish in the fridge for about 2 hours and the flavores came through in an amazing way ! Cook in a skillet by placing all the fish and all the marinade and cooking on medium heat on both sides until fish is flakey and cooked fully through. Although I enjoyed this recipe, next time I will use lemon zest and lemon juice instead of orange because I didn't love the orange-ey flavor it gave to the fish, and think I would prefer lemon instead. To serve: Squirt with fresh lime juice.

Rice: I began by boiling the brown rice in a separate pot (I was making a lot so I knew the rice would need at least 1-1.5 hours to cook at this high altitude, and since the recipe called for cooking the rice with rest of the ingredients for 30-35 minutes, I thought it was a good idea to start ahead of time.) In a large pot I sauteed 3/4 of a large white onion in veggie oil until golden brown. (The recipe called for 1-3 cloves of garlic here too, but I had none so I skipped it.) Next I added 1 tbs ground dry ginger, 2 tbs ground black pepper, 1/2 tbs ground cloves, 1/2 tbs of chili powder, and 1 tbs. cumin to to the onions and stirred well. (Again, I was making a HUGE pot, the recipe called for half the amount of these spices to make about 4 cups of rice .. we  .. we ended up with about 6-8 cups of rice.) Next, I added the half cooked brown rice (in water) to the onions and spices, as well as 4 cups of yellow cherry tomatoes, halved, as well as about 2 tsb. sea salt. and a generous few squirts of Valencia hot sauce, half a jalapeno with seeds from the whole jalapeno, and 2 bay leaves. I cooked this combination of things until the rice was done and then added a can of organic black beans and a package of organic frozen corn to the mix, and let it simmer for another 5 minutes. (Other optional ingredients could include: peas and chopped bell peppers.) To serve: Top with freshly chopped cilantro and a squirt of lime juice.

The Sides: Steamed Veggies, Mushrooms, and Avocado

Veggies: I steamed zuchinni, broccoli, red and yellow bell peppers (all chopped) in a bit of water, salt, and valencia hot sauce. I enjoyed the light flavor of the veggies (not too-seasoned) paired with the rich flavors of the main dishes.

Mushrooms: I sauteed the mushrooms in a bit of oil, salt, and a lot of black ground pepper until tender. Yum! I love shrooms!

Avocado: The avocado would have been fabulous on its own, but after I chopped it and layed it out on the plate I sprinkled a tiny bit of sea salt with a squirt of lime juice on it for a little extra love :)

I chopped up 1/4 of the fresh raw white onion so people could spoon it in with their rice if they wanted, and also put some fresh cilantro on the table for extra seasoning.

I was so happy with these dishes!! They where fresh and delicious, and I cooked so much that I was able to freeze 3 portions of the rice and still have leftovers in the fridge for the next few days ! ( I live with 3 roommates, so we'll see about that last part! ;)

I am definitely going to make Spanish rice again, and am even interested to try the fish marinade (with lemon this time) on tofu in the spirit of total veganism which I have not yet embraced ;) Enjoy!

And for desert: Why not have some delicious dates (deglet noor or medjool) sprinkled in a bit of almond butter and whole sunflower seeds :)

Love, Peace, Prosperity and Healthy Happy Eating!
Sofie

Earthy Juice and Waking Up Early :)

Green Apple!
Romaine!
Spinach!
Carrot!
Green Grape!
Lemon!
Celery!

Raw Juice!
YUM!

I have been eating better and going to sleep early (between 8:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.) and have been waking up on my own at about 7 in the morning. (And feeling mostly fanfreakingtastic!) I've even felt a lot less crampy on my menstrual cycle this time around, and although I know not working during it has a lot to do with it, I am super thankful to my moon cup and all the fruits and veggies in my body that I know are helping too!

I am moved into Julie's driveway :) and Shadow is having a fun time chasing the new cat in the house (We have a 4th roommate for the month of October who has brought two cats with her :), while Moon insists that he play with him all day.

The furniture is all moved out of the "living room," which has been transformed into a beautiful yoga/meditation space, which I am excited to finally utilize today. (Yoga, especially during the first 2-3 days of my flow is usually a major no.)

Yesterday Julie and I did a huge Costco run and picked up a cart full of fresh, raw, mostly organic produce :) Holy grapes, raspberries, blackberries, apples, romaine, spinach, carrots, celery, etc. etc. etc. We created a beautiful juice last night that was one of the two best juices I had ever made! Amazing how something turns out so delicious when you are making it to share with someone you love!

Feeling good and this house feels like a home :) Everything happens for a reason, they say, and I am glad to have moved in to our little nook in Gypsum a month early! It would be swell if the Blu Ox was still starting, but maybe that is just another lesson I had to learn: If you buy a vehicle from 1979, you better be a mechanic ;) or dating one ... 

Peace & Love
Sofie K

Peanut Quinoa and Arugula Asian Salad Recipe :)

Prepare tofu 2-4 hours (or night before) beforehand by "baking" tofu with soy sauce (tamari or shoyu) on a cookie sheet on top of oven range (or in oven). Cook on both sides about 10 minutes each.

Quinoa: Cook quinoa with sea salt until done, add curry powder and crunchy peanut butter

Topping for Quinoa: Steam Asparagus and Edamame in Nama Shoyu (tamari or soy sauce) with small diced ginger, 1-2 Tbs Coconut Butter and a little bit of water. Spices (Add before cooking): Bragg's Nutritional Yeast seasoning, Sriracha, Nama Shoyu (tamari or soy), crushed red pepper flakes, curry powder.

Arugula Salad: Mash an avocado, Nama Shoyu, and a simple vinaigrette with mixed greens and arugula. Add tofu (cubed), chickpeas, tomatoes, BASIL, and any other veggies and mix.

Prepare a beautiful presentation of all all this yummy deliciousness for yourself and any other (soon to be very grateful) guests <3 to feed your eyes as well as your creative soul!

In-JOY!

Always with LOVE and LIGHT
Sofie K.

Pineapple-Carrot-Ginger-Orange Juice. Raw Goodness!

Pineapple
Carrot
Ginger
Orange
JUICE


YUM!

Freely Eating

I have recently remembered that through Starbucks we get free employee meals at the Lodge at Vail employee cafeteria... Why have I not been taking advantage of this before???

The photo is one of my more recent meals .. A beautiful salad with roasted potatoes and steamed veggies. I bought some nice dressing to put on the salad because the Italian dressing at the lodge tastes like dirty socks to me.

In other news, the Blu Ox aka my van is out of commission for the 3rd time in 3 weeks. This time the power steering went out and it is severely over heating every time I run it. That red sandstone road to Piney is gorgeous but treacherous for my beater ... Last time it broke down was the same day I was returning from camping over there , just like today. I'm bummed. Oh well trying to keep it positive :)

Freely living , or trying at least :) My latest trip to the car doctor cost me $424 on top of the 2 new tires which where $250 so along with the $1700 I spent on it with colorado registration plus gas, this car has been anything but free... Maybe it's time to reconsider my ownership of the blue bohemoth....

With love always,

Sofie

Recipes and Foodstuffs

Hello! I have been enjoying some really delicious meals lately, here are some of the recipes.

(All the photos I got from Google images)

                                                             Avocado Kale Salad

Ingredients:

Kale
Avocado (about 1/2)
1 Clove Garlic
Lemon Juice (About 1/4 to 1/2 a small lemon)
Dill
Hummus (1 Tbs)
Cherry Tomatoes
Cucumber (about 1/2)
Tiny pinch of Sea Salt (optional)

Tear the Kale into bite sized pieces in a large mixing bowl. Chop garlic super fine and add to Kale with Lemon Juice, Avocado, Dill, and Hummus, and Sea Salt. Massage together with the Kale until Kale becomes a bit softer. Cut Cherry Tomatoes in half, and Cucumbers into small bite size pieces, add to Kale mixture and ENJOY!


Pizza Quesadillas




Ingredients:

Whole Wheat/ Gluten Free/ Sprouted/ or Regular Wheat Tortilla
Organic / Natural Tomato Sauce
Tomato
1/2 to 1 piece Sun-dried Tomato packed in Oil
Dried Oregano
Raw/ Natural Mozzarella Cheese/ Vegan Alternative Cheese or skip it!
Sriracha
Butter/ Vegan Alternative Butter
Other Optional Ingredients: Onion, Garlic, Spinach, Mushrooms, Green Bell Pepper

In a frying pan, heat up some butter/ vegan alternative butter and place Tortilla in pan. Slice Tomato into thin slices (I used about 1/4 a medium-size tomato) and place into one half of the tortilla. Add Tomato Sauce (1 - 2 Tbs). Finely chop Sun-dried Tomato, and add to tortilla. Add cheese. Add Oregano and a little bit of Sriracha, and any other optional ingredients. (For Mushrooms - Sautee Mushrooms with Onions and Garlic in a little bit of Olive Oil in separate pan and add to quesadilla when mushrooms are fully cooked.) Fold tortilla in half and brown on both sides (until cheese is melted or ingredients on the inside are hot.)

Enjoy your delicious Pizza Quesadilla!


Peaches & Cream Oatmeal


Ingredients:

Oatmeal
Local Ripe Peaches (2)
Almond Milk
Honey
Walnuts
Sea Salt (optional)

Cut up peaches into bite-size pieces and cook with oatmeal in water and a pinch of Sea Salt (optional). Remove from pan when oatmeal is thick, place in bowl. Add Almond Milk to cover Oatmeal, Drizzle with Honey and top with chopped (or whole) Walnuts.

Bon Apetit!

Hope you all enjoy these recipes!

I also want to give a shout-out to some other products I have really been loving lately:

Mary's Gone Crackers "Herb" Flavored Crisps

These Crackers are honestly the best flavored crisps I have ever tasted, and they are Organic, Gluten Free, and Vegan! I have really been enjoying them with Hummus or Heated with some Natural Tomato Sauce and Oregano on top!

I've wanted to make home-made Hummus for a while, but until that day comes, Tribe Organic Classic Hummus is my favorite brand of Hummus! So good with crackers, veggies, as part of a salad dressing, etc.

YUM!










Ok, so not exactly a product, but I have really been
LOVING Watermelons and Grapes this Summer <3

A perfect food for quenching thirst and providing you with natural life-giving sugar to fuel your life!


Let me know what you have been LOVING this summer, and if you try any of the recipes I posted, I would love to hear your feedback!

If you've got any healthy, wholesome recipes of your own, I would love to hear about them too!


Happy Summer!

Love, Abundance, Joy

Sofie K

Meditation

Meditated for 10 minutes yesterday and immediately felt a sense of clarity and peace. I began reading the book on meditation that I have, and my focus has been so much better than it has been lately when trying to read.

The book is really well written too, which helps.

During meditation I wasn't trying to clear my mind of all thoughts - instead I was just focusing on watching the mind as thoughts arose, trying not to engage with the thoughts.

I forgot my computer charger at Starbucks yesterday, and what a blessing that turned out to be! Before I even thought about using the internet, I spent some time cleaning up the house. By the time I was ready to veg out, I realized that I was missing the charger. It was funny to watch the mind re-act (almost in a panic) realizing that I wouldn't be able to use the internet ALL NIGHT. Man, I really am addicted ;) I had it all planned out already, I was going to make a big bowl of rice and sit down and waste time on the internet while binge eating. After I realized I couldn't use my computer, the craving for the food dissapeared almost completely as well. (I wasn't actually hungry - I just wanted to eat.) Interesting how these two things are so related for me.

Then I went to my room, layed down, and meditated. Victory!

(I read an article by a spiritual teacher that advised to repeat the mantra "Victory" when faced with difficulties.)

....

My parents come to town today - super excited to see them.

Lots of Thoughts

During my time in Hawaii, I had access to the internet only when I borrowed friends' laptops. (rarely.)

It was amazing !

I actively participated in life SO much more. AND when I wasn't participating, I had one less distraction (the internet) to keep me distracted from what I was attempting to contemplate, work through, or let go of. Or from simple silence. (Trust me though - I have a complete arsenal of mind-numbing distractions at my disposal .. which I am .. slowly .. clearing out also.)

I would consider these things more like addictions - and internet definitely falls into that category.

What I see currently showing up in my life:

Consistent over-eating, especially of unhealthy foods. Thought-less, mind-less eating while Im on the internet  or seeking a feeling or sensation from food.

Spending 6 + hours a day on the internet. Yeah. Doing what? Facebook, YouTube, some constructive mind-expanding, thought-provoking stuff, but also a lot of mindless mindlessness.

Being ok with what I am doing, and not releasing the "second arrow" into myself which Is the blame, self-hate, and anger that sometimes comes with bringing awareness to addictions or "negative behavior patterns."

I am just noticing that I am doing it, acknowledging that it is not in my "best" interest for the long-term, but also thinking that maybe because I am still doing these things that there is something to be learned from these experiences.

With food - what it seems like I should really focus on is feeling good vs. looking good. I know there is NOTHING wrong with looking good, but when it becomes an obsessive thought pattern and ALL of my thoughts become dominated by my self-image (how I perceive people are viewing/experiencing me) it is so unhealthy for my mind.

In general, I notice my thoughts becoming less and less about how I believe other people view me. I still catch myself thinking this sometimes, but can usually quickly realize what I am doing and eliminate these thoughts from my mind.

I saw a quote yesterday that said "You will stop worrying so much about what other people think about you once you realize how rarely they actually do."

Seems true. We are so "I" and "self" obsessed. At least I am. I mean, I don't really know how not to be. This whole life experience has been "my" experience. It's the only one I know. But sometimes I forget that we all share this world, and that people are not just in "my" world. (Although some theorists and explorers of consciousness do propose the idea that we cannot ACTUALLY prove any one else's conscious awareness beyond our own..but thinking like that ... seems like a justification of the ego to simply do as one wishes and disregard everyone else's well-being.) I DONT KNOW :)

The point of that was, that EVERYONE is living in their own perceived reality.

We have not yet transcended the "self" ( the "ego") as the observer, player, and experience-er of this human existence. And who even knows if we are supposed to.

The part of me that says "it is all as it should be" says - of course we are not supposed to, or else we would have already. All is as it should be, and if you are having this "self" egoic human experience, full of struggles, worries, joys, and moments of bliss then it is how the Creator (if there is one) intended it to be (at least in this moment in Time & Space).

But THAT kind of thinking gets me into another hole because then I say -

Well if everything is always as it should be then why bother to change anything? Why not just change our minds to accept and find joy in whatever situation is presented to us instead of constantly trying to force experiences (of what we think we are going to experience) by embarking to seek change.

So this is maybe "being" vs. "doing"

But are we meant to just "be" ? And then what would we experience?

The miracle of the breath, of pure life force pulsating through our bodies?

But at some point we need to eat right? So we go out and look for food, and immediately we are "doing."

So maybe there is a balance between simply "being" - observing what is (in the surroundings and the own mind), non-reactionary, and non-thinking. Non problem solving. Non fixing, non-doing.

And then there is the doing.

I feel like I need to re-learn how to do both of these things. Because I do not remember how to simply "be" - my mind is constantly racing about what I should be "doing", could be "doing", or will be "doing" .. and my actual doing is influenced so greatly by all my desires to seek out happiness, joys, and fulfillment from my outside experiences instead of ..  well, I don't know what else.

I wonder too, if I took more time to just "be" - as in daily structured meditation - observing the breath, observing the mind - would I be able to more easily pin-point the belief systems that I am invested in in my mind that seem to limit my "doing" to actions of seeking and pre-programmed re-actions ?

What an interesting time in my life. I bet if someone looked in from the outside they would think "wow, that girl's life must be so boring - all she does is work, eat (a lot), and be online (also a lot!) But I feel like I am setting myself up for something really cool.

I have actively let go of a lot of limiting belief systems already and have found myself being more genuine, open, and honest in relations and conversations with others. Even people that I just meet! Life is way more fun when you are real, but I know that most people don't "try" to be fake, they (like me) are just filled with insecurities and believe that they have to behave in a certain way to please people or be accepted.

You know, it would be hard to be completely alone, not accepted by anyone. But I think If I was the only one on the side of Love, Peace, and Kinship, I would rather stand alone than try and be accepted by those who only know hate, anger, fear, war, and oppression.

Life is so beautiful!

Thanks for reading, I LOVE you all!

Sofie K

Options for September

Here is what I have come up with for possible options at the end of my lease in September ...



Hawaii - working on a fruit farm/hostel/work-trade
Pros: I have been there before & loved it, amazing community interested in sustainable living/holistic healing arts, art, music. Sacred Land, Beaches, fruit, work-trade opportunities.
Cons: Expensive plane ticket (for me + Shadow + massage table), have to wait at least 5 months to bring Shadow. No snowboarding.




WWOOFing in Arizona :)

Pros: Lots of sustainable communities/permaculture farms, many centered around the holistic healing arts (I am surprised and delighted!), work-trade, warm climate in winter + sub-tropical climates in some areas, beautiful sacred land, can probably find a ride for me, Shadow, massage table, and can possibly drive myself. New experience + opportunity to learn about different plants. I LOVE the desert + arid climates, native american energies and desert wildlife, Shadow fits right in !
Cons: Uncertainty about going to a new place - will I like it? Will it be a fit for me? No snowboarding.

Stay in Vail, CO for 5th Winter season

Pros: Good job doing massage @ Vitality Center + free ski pass working part-time @ Starbucks. Snowboarding. Shadow loves the snow. Julie is here and she is awesome and I could live with her!

Cons: HUGE work week (4-5 days working with 3-4 of those days being doubles : 6:30 am - 7 p.m.) Cold winter, probably a lease or living in Gypsum, long commute and Shadow doesn't get along with Chihuahuas, cant grow food in winter, feel dis-connected

Conclusion: I am a free bird with many possibilities. Arizona is looking the most appealing to me at the moment, and I can't wait to get in touch with some WWOOFing farms and see what kind of help they need in the winter and whether or not they allow dogs. I absolutely love the Southwest and something about the Utah/New Mexico/ Arizona energy, and especially the land seems to call to me.

My intention is to find a farm on which I can live FOR FREE and hopefully eat much of my food for FREE as well ;) Meet a lot of interesting, compassionate, loving beings interested in art, music, healing, yoga, intentional living, massage, herbs, aromatherapy, color, MUSIC, love animals and connecting to the land, growing food, and interested in building sustainable structures and gardens that provide food year-round :)

Feeling positive!
Sofie

Fresh Apple Juice

Fresh Apple Juice made from donated apples!

I received an entire crate of apples from a friend - and I made JUICE! (with a borrowed juicer!) Probably around one gallon of juice!



Thank you!

Not in a Food Mood .. So Where am I?

I have had body-image issues for two thirds of my whole life. As of lately I decided that worrying about what I look like is a complete waste of my time and energy. Since deciding this, I have given myself permission to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. Since doing so, a funny thing has happened. I have completely lost my appetite.

I am still eating everyday because my mind is saying 'you need to eat,' although sometimes it has been a struggle to eat more than a few bites. I am not craving anything I have in my house right now ...  and when I try to imagine different foods, nothing seems appetizing at the moment. The only things that I seem to be really craving right now is water, water, more water, and warm water with honey.

My stomach feels hungry, but not in a severely painful way. I still have plenty of energy too, and my thoughts and emotions seem a lot clearer than the past few weeks.

This loss of appetite doesn't actually surprise me. Since the beginning of my 'disordered eating' habits, which began at about age 14, I have been on a continuous cycle of calorie restricting, followed by intense periods of bingeing to the point where I would make myself physically ill for days, sometimes weeks at a time. The restriction periods where the times I was trying to force myself to get in control of my life by fitting into a certain image I was holding of who the 'happy me' was. The bingeing periods where the times during which I, over and over and over again, completely lost all control.

Why do we try to cover the true unique beauty of
ourselves by pretending to be someone we are not?
To feel accepted? Loved? Because it is easier to
adopt beliefs of the societal -group mind- than to
stand out, be different, be judged, and be OK with that?

I now realize that trying to control life, especially by attempting to emulate a self-conceived image of -what a happy person looks like (skinny)- is completely futile and totally counter-productive to my instinctual feelings and desires for freedom.

So why the loss of appetite now?

Rewind my life to about 7 weeks ago: I was boarding a plane to Hawaii - a fruit paradise! I was at the tail end of another binge cycle ( I literally ate 3 burritos at the airport waiting to board my flight to Hilo), and had promised my self (again) that this would be the last time! I was completely convinced that once I got to Hawaii, I would eat only fruits, vegetables, and grains .. (being totally enamored with the concept that is the 80 10 10 low fat raw vegan lifestyle.) For the first three weeks, this was exactly what I did. I had come out of such an intense processed-food binge cycle that the first few weeks where easy. My body was thanking me for the cleanse, and I didn't even crave the other stuff. Until I did. And then oh, how I did!

I remember sitting at a restaurant where everyone around me was enjoying their divine-smelling Thai cuisine, and my God! how I wanted it so badly! But my nagging aunt Ninnie brain was un-relentlessness ! All I could think about, besides how much I wanted that food, was how it would probably make me fat and cause me to feel ill! And so I denied myself the pleasure of tasting even a bite of it, even the healthiest option on the menu, the green papaya salad, which I figured was laden with salt and spices. I continued to deny myself until I could not hold on any longer.

I don't think life wants to be controlled. It wants to feel free and do what feels good! And go with the flow of love and abundance! So the more I restricted, the harder I was flung back into total loss of control.

I began to eat, and eat, and eat. It started at a group potluck where I indulged in some very delicious food, in modest amounts ( I was embarrassed that I was eating greasy, cooked food in front of people that had only seen me eat fruits, veggies, and quinoa, and who most likely had  no idea about how deep my food and self-image issues lied.) I woke up the next day feeling completely healthy as far as digestion goes.

Since I had "slipped" though, I wanted to get 'the most out of it' before I had to get back into the restriction cycle, because "this time, I wouldn't go back to bingeing!" I gorged myself that day. And the next day, and the next. I would sneak into town to eat food alone, and buy candy bars to eat by myself in my tent when everyone had gone to bed. I began to lack vitality, and eventually became extremely ill, even having to take days off volunteering because I had eaten so much the night before that I had a full, bloated, aching belly upon waking.

My fellow hostel-mates could tell that I was not feeling well, but I was too ashamed to tell them what was actually going on. I eventually confided in a few friends about the general story of my struggles, although I never described in detail exactly what I was doing.

I continued to binge for the remainder of my stay in Hawaii, as well as on the trip home. All the while, something magical was happening.

Seriously and Honestly. You are beautiful
just the way you are!

During the last few weeks at the hostel, I began to feel very comfortable being my true self in front of my hostel-mates. I said 'no' to activities I did not want to participate in, and did not pretend to have more energy than I actually had. I began to talk more honestly about how I was feeling, and began to accept my own feelings with more compassion and honesty. I stopped feeling sorry for myself or angry for being in the state that I was in, and began to truly forgive myself and nourish the child inside with love and self-acceptance. Well, I started practicing to do all this :)

An amazing book, The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz helped to put a lot of what I was going through into beautiful words that I connected with on a soul-level.

And so now that I am home, allowing my-self to eat whatever I want to eat, whenever I want to eat it, limiting the time I spend in front of a mirror (only the time it takes to squeeze out a few blackheads - an act that feels interestingly satisfying to me :), and spending as much time as I need resting, sleeping, and -not doing anything - I find myself in what seems to be a very natural cycle of detoxing, cleansing, and healing.

LOL! Kind of how I have been feeling. Except for going
 on bike rides.

I am sure that my appetite will return once my body truly needs it to. I am not one bit surprised, that during a time when I am releasing many old beliefs and life patterns that no longer serve me, my body is asking for less food than usual, in an attempt to release the stale energies of these belief systems out of its tissues.

I feel like the moment I decided not to restrict my-self any longer, it was a moment of great surrender.

And being here, I do not regret the many years I have spent "struggling" with disordered eating and body-image, or any future struggles that may show their faces. Yet being OK with these struggles -in the moment- is still something I am working on. It makes it easier when I see that I wouldn't be where I am today without the totality of my experiences. "You have got to trust that the dots will somehow connect." - Steve Jobs

Watch Jobs' inspirational video about seeing the opportunities in life's setback's here !

Thank You! Namaste.
Sofie