Sunday, December 30, 2012

Everything is coming together nicely for the trip :)

I am so very very happy that everything is coming together so smoothly just in time for my departure from Vail to Mexico City on the 24th.

As fas as gear goes, Im going pretty minimal and Im sure I will learn a lot about what I do / do not need on such backpacking trips soon.

My Osprey pack and Marmot sleeping bag where repaired with much haste by the lovely people at both companies, and I invested some ding dogs $ into a new pair of Keen hiking boots, a sleeping bag compression sack, a sleeping bag liner, a new menstrual cup (which I hope works better than my current one - oy), a water bladder, and a journal for journaling and taking notes along the way. We also got a water filter  and Dan has one of those shmancy little backpacking gas burners for cooking oatmeal and hippie slop and whatnots.

I so wanted to make a video about what all I am bringing with me on this trip, but alas my fancy iphone encased in its brand new gifted Otter Box was stolen on Christmas. Bah Humbug. Hehe. Maybe I will borrow my roommate's phone to do it or dig out my ancient (ha!) digital camera : )

If not, I will for sure make a list on here and compare when I get back of what I actually used. I hope to be able to update the blog/facebook from the road via Daniel's cellphone.. we shall see.

Other than that, still haven't told my spa job that I am leaving and honestly am quite nervous about doing it. Jobs here definitely want you to stay through the winter season, and I would hate to leave on bad terms because it's an awesome place to work and I would love to have my job back someday if I decide to come back to Vail . January 9th is the date that I have chosen to give  my resignation, but something inside me is urging  me to tell them sooner so they have more than 2 weekends to hire another massage therapist if they need one.

Even if they decide to be meanie-heads and take me off the schedule when I tell them (I really hope they don't do this, and kindof doubt that they will) I have already earned enough $cash mo mo$ for the trip ( I HOPE) and will continue working at the Bucks until my departure date.

I love you all!
Im exhausted from all the butt rubbing Ive been doing lately - Christmas week in Vail is an insanity fest and I am much looking forward to my full day off Wednesday

Sofie K

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Planning the trip!!!

So many things to do in South America, so little time to plan! We will be winging it a lot, im sure! Spontaneous adventures and random cosmically aligned heart love synchronicities await us world travelers !

Planning! Reading! Writing notes! Hustlin for the next month but not forgetting to act marthafarkin silly!!!

- Love and Adventure
Sofie K











Monday, December 17, 2012

South America!!!

Just decided to go on a 6 month backpacking trip from Mexico City down to Patagonia. YES!



:) Will obviously be updating the blog with many future adventures and vlogs! 

Sofie K 


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Talking about Adventure and Vlog 1

Today I recorded a Vlog video diary :)




More on adventure:

What is adventure? I know what I think it means: doing something exciting that you've never done before, maybe even something risky!

Here's what Dictionary.com says it means:

noun
1. an exciting or unusual experience

2. participation in exciting undertakings or enterprises: the spirit of adventure
3. a bold, usually risky undertaking; hazardous action of uncertain outcome
4. a commercial or financial speculation of any kind; venture


So why am I feeling like I my life right now isn't adventurous right now when it totally is? My mind was just clinging to the idea (that many hold, I think) that you have to go somewhere to go on a grand adventure. And you can, and it will probably be epic. Nothing wrong with that, both ways are equal in my mind now.

I am now certain and content with the idea that I can stay exactly where I am and still live adventurously. Have exciting and unusual experiences that are risky and which have uncertain outcomes. That kindof sounds like life.

I kindof think that is the whole concept of the freely living blog... to let go of patterns that rule my life and live more freely, adventurously, with less expectations of outcomes and just taking life in as it is :) Welcoming the uncertain!

Anyways, why is adventure so important anyways? (I'm not saying it is not, but its an interesting question nonetheless.)

Does it make our lives seem more worthwhile, more exciting?

Just trying to look at it from kindof a Buddhist/ego questioning perspective. But .. I want to paint. Can't stop to think ..

Ha!

Love and awesome adventures!
Sofie K

p.s.

Pema Chodron..
As human beings we share a tendency to scramble for certainty whenever we realize that everything around us is in flux. In difficult times the stress of trying to find solid ground-something predictable and safe to stand on-seems to intensify. But in truth, the very nature of our existence is forever in flux. Everything keeps changing, whether we're aware of it or not.
What a predicament! We seem doomed to suffer simply because we have a deep-seated fear of how things really are. Our attempts to find lasting pleasure, lasting security, are at odds with the fact that we're part of a dynamic system in which everything and everyone is in process."
(Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change)

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Mural on the Wall

Tonight I began painting a mural on a wall in my room. It was a lot of fun to paint on such a large scale surface and the entire time I was painting I was in an awesome state of bliss, listening to bluegrass songs about losing the one you love and thinking about how everything just works out so perfectly in life, huh?

The whole thing was just a giant metaphor. I kept trying to "see the big picture" but finally surrendered into focusing on the small details of the mural, which will eventually make up the huge mural. The patterns and shapes just flowed out of me when I allowed my mind to cease it's wanting to dictate and plan every little move. My hands took over. At times I would step back and decide where to go next.

I made lots of "mistakes" which later became the perfect layers on which to paint other, different, brighter lines, shapes, patterns, colors..

Lately I've been super jealous of my friend's upcoming backpacking trip across South America. I've kindof been making myself feel "bad" that my life isn't adventurous "enough" right now and that I "should be" or "want to be" planning an epic trip of my own.

I mean, of course I want adventure and travels, but honestly, in the past my "issues" have gotten very in the way of me fully experiencing and living in the moment during my traveling.

I feel like I AM on an epic adventure right now. Living my life in a completely new way .. feeling more free and open than I remember feeling since I was a kid and inspired also.

Re-learning how to eat without fear or compulsion has been and continues to be an eye-mind-heart-body-opening experience :)

I feel like my experience of life is getting better and better every day and whatever I wish to manifest has been happening too :)

For the time being, I am fully content living my simple life, doing yoga, going for jogs with Shadow, making yummy green juices and sauerkraut concoctions .. who knows what kinds of spontaneous random synchronistic psychedelic adventures the winter and spring will offer :)

Love and Randomness

Sofie K

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Eating Oranges? Save the peels and treat yourself to a yummy body and face scrub! (and more!)


I've been eating a ton of cutie clementines and oranges lately. (Literally ate about 20 of them for breakfast the other day!) I'm also pretty into DIY everything right now, so I figured there was something I could do with the mass of orange peels I had left from my feast! There totally is! (Buy organic if you can :)

First, I peeled the clementines (and oranges.) Then I ate the clementines. Then I placed the clementine peels on top of our wood-burning, soapstone stove (fireplace) to dry them out and create a sensational aromatherapy effect in our house. The peels released their amazing oils into the air as they dried; our home smelled redickolos. a.k.a. divine, amazing, stupid awesome! Something about citrus, fire, and coldness outside just clicks! Hear that snow? It's time for you to fall! Anyways ..





If you don't have a sweet wood burning stove like we do, consider getting one because they are beautiful, fun if you're a pyro, and will save you a ton of money on gas or electric because (especially a soap-stone one like this) will heat a majority of your house (depending on the size of course) using wood. The Amish have even invented a device that turns old newspapers into bricks that you can burn instead of wood! Click HERE to see this crazy tool!  If you still aren't convinced, come over and feel the amazing flames licking your cold toes and bum until you are :) Or.. Use your oven on a low setting to toast/dry the orange peels until they are hard, but not cooked. (If they are turning brown or black, they are done. Too done. Remove from heat and let cool!) The color should remain relatively similar to the raw peels, they will now just be hard. There are several things I plan to use these dry peels for now ...

Here is how I made a delicious facial and body scrub:



I made the dried orange peels into a powder using an electric coffee grinder ( A mortar and pestle will work too :) I added ground cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves (about a pinch of each) to the orange peel powder. Next, I "wet" the mixture with almond oil (that had a hint of vanilla essential oil in it). You can use any type of neutral oil: coconut oil or butter, olive oil, hemp seed oil, grapeseed oil, even vegetable oil if that's all you've got on hand! I only added enough oil so that all the mixture got wet, but not soupy. As you can see from the photo, the scrub stays formed into a heap on a spoon, and isn't runny. Use this to scrub your face and body ( do it in a dry tub ) to exfoliate your winter skin all while receiving aroma blasts of citrus and spice .. amazing.

 
  Scrub Scrub Scrub! Scrub Scrub Scrub! Scrub your boooty! Scrub your booooty!

 Other ways to use the orange peels:



As a spice :) Add whole dry peels or a powder to rice or quinoa with a jasmine tea bag while cooking or steaming for a beautiful citrus hint. The photo is above is tonight's "rich poor girl dinner ;)" I boiled organic short grain brown rice and organic quinoa, 1/2 tbs orange peel powder (could have added 1 tbs.), a tbs. miso paste, and sea salt in a rice cooker until done. Simple. Filling. Tasty!

Roast root vegetables like beets, potatoes, and carrots with it.

 Add the powder or whole dry peel to green, black,or earl grey tea while steeping to add a unique flavor.

 Boil some dry orange peels in water to freshen the air in your home and use for aromatherapy .. "The oils of orange peels can be used as aroma therapy to treat the conditions of depression and anxiety."

 Aging olive oil with orange peels (fresh) will add a zesty flavor to the oil which you can then use on pastas, salads, breads, etc.

 Add dry orange peel powder to your bath water for a luxurious aroma while you cleanse!

 Apparently.."Herbalists recommend consumption of orange peels as an effective method of lowering your blood pressure. The Chinese have used the peels of bitter oranges as herbal medicine for thousands of years."

Eat up! While mixing the orange, nutmeg, cinnamon, clove combo I mentioned above (for the scrub) I realized how tasty some raw "cookies" would taste with the exact same spices! I will make them and get back to you about that!

Much love and oranges,

Sofie K! 

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Juice Recipes!

I'm always interested in knowing what tasty fresh raw juice concoctions people have come up with. Here's a website with some yummy-sounding ideas!

http://www.wholefigured.com/component/k2/item/37-my-favorite-juicing-recipes

Love and Juice Power!
Sofie K

Low-Fat Vegan Java-Chocolate-Pumpkin Seed "Brownies Bites" Recipe!

Here is a photo tutorial on how to makes these yummy, vegan, semi-raw Java-Choco-Pumpkin Seed Brownies for a healthy dessert or a sweet snack!

These treats are: Vegan, Gluten-Free, Baking-Free, all-Natural, Energy-Giving and delicious!

You will need:

A food processor and small coffee bean grinder

Ingredients:




About 20 pitted dates
5-10 dried apricots
Dash of: cinnamon, nutmeg, dry ginger, and 1-2 small pieces of dry clove
About 1-2 tsp. ground coffee beans (if you have whole coffee beans, use your coffee grinder to grind into a     fine powder.)
About 3-5 tsp. ground raw cacao nibs
Agave nectar
Pumpkin Seeds (Raw)





Grind about 1/2 a cup of pumpkin seeds into a fine powder with your coffee grinder, place on plate and leave on the side. (We will use this powder to roll our brownies in. You can also use walnuts, almonds, shredded coconut, or some more of the cacao/coffee powder if you do not have pumpkin seeds!)
















 Combine dates, apricots, ground cacao and coffee, spices, and about just enough agave nectar to get the ingredients "wet" (about 2-3 tbs.) in food processor. Pulse with "S" blade until your ingredients look something like this:
















Roll mixture into little brownie bites (ball-shaped). I like to use a bit of water on my hands while rolling them because it binds them better and gives the surface a smoother texture :) Plus it makes them nice and sticky for the next step!













Roll the brownie bite in the pumpkin seed powder to fully cover it with pumpkiny yumminess :)










Last Step: Enjoy your delicious, healthy, creations ! (Store in the fridge or freezer in an air-tight container :)





Have fun! In-Joy! Bon-Apetit!

Sofie K :)








Sunday, November 18, 2012

Beyond Habits

A post about releasing habits effortlessly by simply bringing more awareness to them, from the Meditation facebook page, deeply intrigued me.

We all have habits, some we assign the label of "good," some "evil, life-destroying, ugly, shameful, etc.) Osho believes that all habits are "bad," because they take us out of the present moment, and instead we re-act in a way that has worked for us in the past, even though it may not be the appropriate solution at this current time and place.


Personally, I have a habit of dieting and then bingeing and seeking comfort in food, ( a habit that is currently serving my life in a way that is allowing me to learn and become conscious of how intensely humans "make a habit ;) of limiting their own lives, and also by allowing me to gain understanding and awareness that there are ways to release patterns and habits, to live a more present life in each moment. Freely Living is a  process, and releasing habits is progress!)  I simply inserted my personal habits anywhere the post mentioned "smoking." The same can be done with any habit you desire to release, just insert it where ever you see "smoking." The concept is the same no matter what the particular habit is that you are allowing to keep you its slave.

               " I am less interested in your chain-smoking; I am more interested in your habit. Life is continuously changing — it is a flux — and habits are stagnant. The more you are surrounded by habits, the more you are closed to life. One should live more in freedom. One should be able to do things not according to habits but according to the situations. You don’t have any communication with life; you go on repeating your habits. They don’t fit; they are not the right response to the situation, to the moment. Habits are all bad because habit means something unconscious has become a dominating factor in your life, has become decisive. You are no longer the deciding factor. The response is not coming out of awareness but out of a pattern, structure, that you have learned in the past."

The author explains that we repeat habits because we are full of anxiety, tension, and worry, and that slipping into the "unconscious" act of performing a habit distracts us from our anxiety. The habit is just the symptom of a deeper issue, and we can use to avoid being fully present in a situation where we feel uncomfortable (anxious, afraid, depressed, worried, nervous, angry, frustrated.)

"You cannot cure food addiction by dieting.." I'm not sure if you can cure any real addiction simply by abstaining, without going absolutely freaking nuts. The addiction is the symptom, after all, and the reasons that led us to begin the addiction in the first place (and seek comfort in the habit of our choice) will continue to arise and lead us back to our habits. Especially if we are trying to avoid it.

I know for me, when I have uncomfortable feelings, I want to push them away by literally stuffing them down with heavy foods. I also know though, that much of my anxiety, fears, and worry, comes from the pressure I put on myself to be a certain way in my body. (The way I think it should look and feel.) Human behavior , thought, feeling, and emotion is pretty complex though, I realize this.

What I think the author is urging us to do is to simplify life a little, not by trying to solve a problem at once, but simply by being aware of our behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and emotions, especially around our habits.

Here is the full post by Osho:

BeyondHabits



I cannot drop the habit of chain-smoking. I have tried hard but I have always failed. Is it a sin to smoke?

 
Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill! Religious people are very skillful in doing that. Now, what are you really doing when you are smoking? Just taking some smoke inside your lungs and letting it out. It is a kind of pranayama...filthy, dirty, but still a pranayama! You are doing yoga, in a stupid way. It is not sin. It may befoolish but it is not a sin, certainly.

There is only one sin and that is unawareness, and only one virtue and that is awareness.

Do whatsoever you are doing, but remain a witness to it, and immediately the quality of your doing is transformed.

I will not tell you not to smoke; that you have tried. You must have been told by many so-called saints not to smoke: “Because if you smoke you will fall into hell.” God is not so stupid as your saints are. Throwing somebody into hell just because he was smoking cigarettes will be absolutely unnecessary.

One morning Weintraub went to a restaurant and ordered bacon with his eggs. He was an orthodox Jew and his wife kept a strictly kosher home, but Weintraubfelt the need just this once.

As Weintraub was about to leave the restaurant, he stopped in the door frozen with terror. The sky was filled with black clouds, there was lightning, and the ground shook with the rumble of thunder.

“Can you imagine!” he exclaimed. “All that fuss over a little piece of bacon!”

But that’s what your so-called saints have been telling you down through the ages, for centuries.

Smoking is unhealthy, unhygienic, but not a sin. It becomes a sin only if you are doing it unconsciously. It is not smoking that makes it a sin but unconsciousness.

Let me emphasize the fact. You can do your prayer every day unconsciously; then your prayer is a sin. You can become addicted to your prayer. If you miss the prayer one day, the whole day you will feel something is wrong, something ismissing...some gap. It is the same with smoking or with drinking; there is nodifference in it. Your prayer has become a mechanical habit; it has become a master over you. It bosses you; you are just a servant, a slave to it. If you don’t do it, it forces you to do it.

So it is not a question of smoking. You may be doing your Transcendental Meditation every day regularly, and it may be just the same. If the quality of unconsciousness is there, if mechanicalness is there, if it has become a fixed routine, if it has become a habit and you are a victim of the habit and you cannot put it aside, you are no longer a master of yourself, then it is a sin.But its being a sin comes out of your unconsciousness, not out of the act itself.

No act is virtuous, no act is a sin. What consciousness is behind the act —everything depends on that.

You say: “I cannot drop the habit of chain-smoking.” I am less interested in your chain-smoking; I am more interested in your habit. Any habit that becomes a force, a dominating force over you, is a sin. One should live more infreedom. One should be able to do things not according to habits but according to the situations.

Life is continuously changing — it is a flux — and habits are stagnant. Themore you are surrounded by habits, the more you are closed to life. You are notopen, you don’t have windows. You don’t have any communication with life; yougo on repeating your habits. They don’t fit; they are not the right response tothe situation, to the moment. They are always lagging behind, they are alwaysfalling short. That’s the failure of your life.

So remember: I am against all kinds of habits. Good or bad is not the point.There is no good habit as such, there is no bad habit as such. Habits are allbad because habit means something unconscious has become a dominating factor inyour life, has become decisive. You are no longer the deciding factor. Theresponse is not coming out of awareness but out of a pattern, structure, thatyou have learned in the past.

I have seen many rich people living very poor lives. Before they became richtheir habits became settled — and their habits became settled when they werepoor. That’s why you find so much miserliness in rich people; it comes from thehabits that became ingrained in them when they were poor.

One of the richest men in the world — not one of the richest but the richestman in the world, it is thought — was the Nizam of Hyderabad. His collection ofdiamonds was the greatest in the world because he owned the diamond mines ofGolconda, which have provided the greatest diamonds to the world. The Kohinoorcomes from Golconda. It was once in the Nizam’s possession. He had so manydiamonds that it is said that no one has ever been able to calculate exactlythe price of his collection. Thousands and thousands of diamonds — they werenot counted, they were weighed!

But he was one of the most miserly men in the world. He used a single cap forthirty years. It was stinking but he wouldn’t change it. He continued to wearthe same coat for almost his whole life and he would not give it to be washedbecause they might destroy it. He was so miserly — you cannot imagine — that hewould collect half-smoked cigarettes from the guests’ ashtrays and then smokethem. The richest man in the world smoking cigarette butts smoked by others!The first thing he would do whenever a guest left was to search in the ashtraysand collect the ends of the cigarettes.

When he died, his greatest diamond was found in his dirty shoes. He was hidingit in his shoe! Maybe he had some idea behind it — that maybe he would be ableto take it with him to the other world. Maybe he was afraid: “When I am dead,people may steal it.” It was the greatest diamond; he used that diamond as apaper-weight on his table. Before he died he must have put it inside his shoe.

Even when one is dying one is moving in old habits, following old patterns. Ihave heard:

The old Mulla Nasruddin had become a very rich man. When he felt deathapproaching he decided to make some arrangements for his funeral, so he ordereda beautiful coffin made of ebony wood with satin pillows inside. He also had abeautiful silk caftan made for his dead body to be dressed in.

The day the tailor delivered the caftan, Mulla Nasruddin tried it on to see howit would look, but suddenly he exclaimed, “What is this! Where are thepockets?”

Smoking or no smoking, that is not important. Maybe if you continue to smokeyou will die a little earlier. So what? The world is so overpopulated, you willdo some good by dying a little earlier. Maybe you will have tuberculosis. Sowhat? Tuberculosis is now almost like the common cold. In fact, there is nocure for the common cold but there is a cure for tuberculosis I know it becauseI suffer from a common cold. To have tuberculosis is to be very fortunate.

So it is possible that you may die two years earlier, you may get tuberculosis— but it is not a sin. Don’t be worried about that. If you really want to dosomething about your life, dropping smoking is not going to help — because Iknow people who drop smoking; then they start chewing gum. The same oldstupidity! Or if they are Indians they start chewing pan; it is the same. Youwill do something or other. Your unconsciousness will demand some activity,some occupation. It is an occupation. And it is only a symptom; it is notreally the problem. It is not the root of the problem.

Have you not observed? Whenever you feel emotionally disturbed you immediatelystart smoking. It gives you a kind of relief; you become occupied. Your mind isdistracted from the emotional problem. Whenever people feel tense they startsmoking. The problem is tension, the problem is emotional disturbance — theproblem is somewhere else; smoking is just an occupation. So you become engagedin taking the smoke in and out and you forget for the time being...because mindcannot think of two things together, remember it. One of the fundamentals ofmind is: it can think only of one thing at one time; it is one-dimensional. Soif you are smoking and thinking of smoking, then from all other anxieties youare distracted.

That’s the whole secret of the so-called spiritual mantras: they are nothingbut distractions, like smoking. You repeat “Om, Om, Om,” or “Ram, Ram, Ram,” or“Allah, Allah, Allah” — that is just giving mind an occupation. And all thesepeople who teach mantras say, “Repeat it as quickly as possible, so thatbetween two repetitions there is not even a small gap. Let them overlap — so ‘RamRam Ram’ — don’t leave a gap between two Rams, otherwise some thought mayenter. Repeat it like crazy!”

Yes, it will give you a certain relief — the same relief that comes fromsmoking, because your mind will be distracted from the anxieties and the world.You will forget about the world; you have created a trick. All mantras aretricks, but they are spiritual. Chain-smoking is also a mantra. It is a worldlymantra; non-religious you can call it, secular.

The real problem is the habit.

You say: “I have tried hard to drop it....”

You have not tried to be conscious of it; without trying to be conscious youhave tried to drop it. It is not possible. It will come back, because your mindis the same; its needs are the same, its problems are the same, its anxieties,tensions are the same, its anguish is the same. And when those anxieties arise,what will you do? Immediately, mechanically, you will start searching for thecigarettes.

You may have decided again and again, and again and again you have failed — notbecause smoking is such a great phenomenon that you cannot get out of it, butbecause you are trying from the wrong end. Rather than becoming aware of thewhole situation — why you smoke in the first place — rather than becoming awareof the process of smoking, you are simply trying to drop it. It is like pruningthe leaves of a tree without cutting the roots. And my whole concern here is tocut the roots, not to prune the tree.

By pruning the leaves and the branches the tree will become thicker, thefoliage will become thicker. You will not destroy the tree; you will be helpingit, in fact. If you really want to get out of it you will have to look deeper,not into the symptoms but the roots. Where are the roots?

You must be a deeply anxiety-ridden person, otherwise chain-smoking is notpossible; chain-smoking is a by-product. You must be so concerned about athousand and one disturbances inside, you must be carrying such a big load ofworries on your heart, on your chest, that you don’t even know how to forgetthem. You don’t know how to drop them; smoking at least helps you to forgetabout them.


 You say: “I have tried hard....”












Now one thing has to be understood. The hypnotists have discovered afundamental law; they call it the Law of Reverse Effect. If you try hard to dosomething without understanding the fundamentals, just the opposite will be theresult.

It is like when you are learning how to ride on a bicycle. You are on a silentroad, no traffic, early in the morning, and you see a red milestone juststanding there by the side of the road like Hanuman. A sixty-foot-wide road andjust a small milestone, and you become afraid: you may get to the milestone,you may hit the milestone. Now you forget about the sixty-foot-wide road. Infact, even if you go blindfolded there is not much chance of your encounteringthe milestone, crashing into the milestone, but with open eyes now the wholeroad is forgotten; you have become focused. In the first place, that redness isvery focusing. And you are so afraid, you want to avoid it. You have forgottenthat you are on a bicycle; you have forgotten everything. Now the only problemfor you is how to avoid this stone; otherwise you may harm yourself, you maycrash into it.

Now the crash is absolutely inevitable; you are bound to crash with the stone.And then you will be surprised: “1 tried hard.” In fact it is because you triedhard that you reached the stone. And the closer you come, the harder you try toavoid it; but the harder you try to avoid it, the more focused you become onit. It becomes a hypnotic force, it hypnotizes you. It becomes like a magnet.

It is a very fundamental law in life. Many people try avoiding many things andthey fall into the same things. Try to avoid anything with great effort and youare bound to fall into the same pit. You cannot avoid it; that is not the wayto avoid it.

Be relaxed. Don’t try hard, because it is through relaxation that you canbecome aware, not by trying hard. Be calm, quiet, silent.

I will suggest: smoke as much as you want to smoke. It is not a sin in thefirst place. I give you the guarantee — I will be responsible. I take the sinon myself, so if you meet God on Judgment Day you can just tell him that thisfellow is responsible. And I will stand there as a witness for you that you arenot responsible. So don’t be worried about its being a sin. Relax and don’t tryto drop it with effort. No, that is not going to help.

Zen believes in effortless understanding. So this is my suggestion: smoke asmuch as you want to smoke — just smoke meditatively. If Zen people can drinktea meditatively, why can’t you smoke meditatively? In fact, tea contains thesame stimulant as the cigarettes contain; it is the same stimulant, there isnot much difference. Smoke meditatively, very religiously. Make it a ceremony.Try it my way.

Make a small corner in your house just for smoking: a small temple devoted,dedicated to the god of smoking. First bow down to your cigarette packet. Havea little chit-chat, talk to the cigarettes. Inquire, “How are you?” And thenvery slowly take a cigarette out — very slowly, as slowly as you can, becauseonly if you take it very slowly will you be aware. Don’t do it in a mechanicalway, as you always do. Then tap the cigarette on the packet very slowly and foras long as you want. There is no hurry either. Then take the lighter, bow downto the lighter. These are great gods, deities! Light is God, so why not thelighter?

Then start smoking very slowly, just like Vipassana. Don’t do it like a pranayama— quick and fast and deep — but very slowly. Buddha says: Breathe naturally. Soyou smoke naturally: very slow, no hurry. If it is a sin you are in a hurry. Ifit is a sin you want to finish it as soon as possible. If it is a sin you don’twant to look at it. You go on reading the newspaper and you go on smoking. Whowants to look at a sin? But it is not a sin, so watch it — watch each of youracts.

Divide your acts into small fragments so you can move very slowly. And you willbe surprised: by watching your smoking, slowly slowly smoking will become lessand less. And one day suddenly...it is gone. You have not made any effort todrop it; it has dropped of its own accord, because by becoming aware of a deadpattern, a routine, a mechanical habit, you have created, you have released, anew energy of consciousness in you. Only that energy can help you; nothing elsewill ever help.

It is not only so with smoking, it is so with everything else in life: don’ttry too hard to change yourself. That leaves scars. Even if you change, yourchange will remain superficial. And you will find a substitute somewhere; youwill have to find a substitute, otherwise you will feel empty.

When something withers away of its own accord because you have become sosilently aware of the stupidity of it that no effort is needed, when it simplyfalls, just like a dead leaf falling from a tree, it leaves no scar behind andit leaves no ego behind.

If you drop something by effort, it creates great ego. You start thinking, “NowI am a very virtuous man because I don’t smoke.” If you think that smoking is asin, naturally, obviously, if you drop it you will think you are a veryvirtuous man.

That’s how your virtuous men are. Somebody does not smoke, somebody does notdrink, somebody eats only once a day, somebody does not eat in the night,somebody has even stopped drinking water in the night...and they are all greatsaints! These are saintly qualities, great virtues! We have made religion sosilly. It has lost all glory. It has become as stupid as people are. But thewhole thing depends on your attitude: if you think something is a sin, thenyour virtue will be just the opposite of it.

I emphasize: not-smoking is not virtue, smoking is not sin; awareness isvirtue, unawareness is sin. And then the same law is applicable to your wholelife.
 


Osho


I hope you enjoyed that enlightening piece of literature :)

I did have one question for the author. Isn't seeking (the desire) to release a habit (even by utilizing the means of conscious awareness to do it) still an effort, still "trying hard to change yourself?"

Hm. It seems that even if it is, it may be a an extremely effective means of change. I truly believe that we cannot simply try and change habits, because they are always the result of deeper roots that often are tangled up in unconscious thoughts and beliefs about ourselves, others, and reality. By becoming intimately aware of these beliefs we can begin to ask ourselves, "Is it true?" When we realize that we have been telling ourselves lies all along, and living in illusion, will the habit naturally fall away because the necessity of the mind to keep the illusion in tact falls away.

Ways I plan to use awareness more to manifest greater freedom from habits, especially the ones relating to my relationship with food:

  • Notice my thoughts and feelings while eating certain types of food. Do I find myself feeling more virtuous when I eat a certain type of food over another? Do I find myself enabling habits in myself relating to what time of day I should eat a certain food or shouldn't?
  • Notice how my body physically feels before, during, and after eating different types of foods. 
  • Notice how I feel mentally before, during, and after eating different types of foods
  • Notice how I feel emotionally before, during, and after eating different foods
  • Notice how I am feeling and what I am thinking about when the urge to eat a certain type of food or binge arises
  • Ask myself, and I really hungry right now?
  • Notice any thoughts and feelings arising when I look into the mirror
  • Continue to ask "Is this true?"
  • Blog about my findings
I think it is a common desire among people to want to live a life of freedom and happiness. I have this nagging question, though ..  (is it just my mind self-sabotaging again? ;) even if we successfully release limiting patterns in our lives, will we be any more free, since we are changing events on the "outside" to try and affect how we feel on the "inside," and many a spiritual "guru" has been know to exalt the power of finding unconditional peace and acceptance within, instead of trying to change outside events.

It seems that the way Osho describes going about "changing outer reality" is fundamentally based upon the notion that we must free ourselves by looking for the "roots of the habit" deep within our Selves, so that the habits with naturally and effortlessly reveal themselves simply for what they are: a habitual way of trying to take care of themselves .. there is a phrase for that which I can't remember.. anyone?

Anyways.. Remember this part of the article?

"... my whole concern here is to cut the roots, not to prune the tree.

By pruning the leaves and the branches the tree will become thicker, the foliage will become thicker. You will not destroy the tree; you will be helping it, in fact. If you really want to get out of it you will have to look deeper, not into the symptoms but the roots. Where are the roots?"

We've gotta get deep man.
 It's time to face the issues instead of turning away from them. Yeah the ego might suffer a few butt-hurt moments when it realizes it has been believing a false belief .. again .. sometimes your entire life ... and you may realize you are not who you think you are .. and you're not. You're probably something way more awesome, vast, wise, and divine.

Maybe. Maybe we're just monkeys who can't relax and be content or whatever ;)

Thanks for reading, everyone! 

If you are interested in this topic, check out this hilarious article on cracked.com about habits .. 5 Ways Your Brain Tricks You Into Sticking With Bad Habitshttp://www.cracked.com/article_20028_5-ways-your-brain-tricks-you-into-sticking-with-bad-habits.html

Is there a perspective you can choose about yourself today that is positive, even though you may recognize things in your life that you may want to change? Can you see your habits in a positive light, even finding gratitude for them in some way? How have the habits of your past or present, or ones you have released already changed your view of reality? Have you gained any understanding, wisdom, or compassion for yourself and others through these experiences?
Love, Growth, and Freedom
Sofie K



P.S. I am not convinced that there are no such things as good habits, and am making a metal note to explore this concept further at a later time.

What do you think? Are there good habits, or are all habits detrimental? What do you think about the content and ideas touched on throughout this post?

Leave a comment, let's start a conversation!



Saturday, November 17, 2012

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Yoga Yoga Yoga !

Doing yoga errday and it feeels so good ( and kinda sore! )

Namaste!
Soffizzle

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Feeling less than optimal and Couch to 5K

So the past few days I have been feeling really lacking in energy, I've had a headache, and just not feeling like doing anything!

Makes me think of the youtube vid "shit new age girls say" - "I'm soo detoxing right now!" LoL. Is that what is going on for me? Maybe, I haven't eaten junk food since my binge after the 5 full days of raw food I did.. I forget when that was, maybe 2 weeks ago? As for bingeing, I've been doing pretty good. Every time I have the urge to starve myself or skip a meal, even though I am hungry, I remind myself that being healthy is more important than being thin and that eating healthy will allow my body to find it's own unique perfect weight naturally.

Does this mean I've been eating whatever I want? Yes - and what I've wanted has been natural, vegan (some fish though), yummy food cooked from mostly scratch at home, lots of fruit, veggies, hummus, and dates, quinoa and brown rice. I have definitely over-eaten on the heavy foods (date-nut balls, quinoa) because of random impulses to eat when I wasn't hungry, but I am happy to report that it has not been anything as extreme as a full-on binge, more like an extra helping of something when I really was already full. I don't like the feeling of myself when I am too full, and I definitely am hoping for the day when I can just eat enough and be satisfied, and eat only when I am hungry.

I have been relaxing on my few days off, and hoping that my check-off for the Reflexology treatment with Lisa goes well tomorrow at the spa.

I am thinking of beginning the C25K (Couch to 5K) program when I return from Chicago. It's a 9 week program to get you from not running at all, to being able to run a full 5K (3.2 miles) or 30 minutes straight :) I'm excited about it !

I also have been being more regular with Yoga lately, which has been nice. There have been several days at the yoga studio where I have felt very strong, but today (a home practice with friendlyuniverseyoga.com) I felt pretty weak and tired.

I know there is one very specific lifestyle choice I still have to change which will affect my health dramatically in a positive way, I am sure!

Peace, Love, and Healthy Choices,
Sofie K

Monday, October 29, 2012

Quick & Simple Quinoa Dinner :)




You know what I LOVE? Good food, simply and fast! Sometimes I like to spend a few hours in the kitchen making an elaborate 4 course meal, but when I come home from work or a day out, I just want to feed myself something nourishing and yummy with minimal effort.

So that's what I did today!

Pictured is a wonderful dish of cooked quinoa with veggies and a side of salad.

Gluten-Free, Salt-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian  Organic, Fresh!






Here's the recipe:

Cook quinoa until tender and "salt" with Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids. (For those who have never tried liquid amino's, it comes as a "spritz" bottle and tastes like soy sauce, but with a lot less sodium, no preservatives, artificial colors or flavors, and they are non-GMO.) I cooked about 4 cups of quinoa to have some for leftovers.

Add 3-4 cups of mixed greens to steam for 1-2 minutes until wilted, and 1 cup of chopped bell peppers of all colors. Cook for 1-2 minutes and mix into quinoa.

Add a teaspoon of hummus to the mixture, some more Bragg's to taste and enjoy!

For the salad I just used mixed greens and balsamic vinegar with a tiny bit of walnut oil for dressing.

//edit//

Although I love how cooked food tastes, and my mind sure does still crave it still, I notice what a decrease in energy and increase in digestion time I experience after eating it. Pretty wild since this was a very healthy meal according to most people's "standards." I did eat a lot of food and that (I know) has something to do with it, but I have been eating mostly raw (some conventional juices) during the day: fruit, smoothies, salads, juices, veggies, and in the afternoon/night having some cooked food. Wild.

Bon Apetit!

Sofie K



Hitchhiking: A freely awesome way to get around!



I spent the whole last summer living in Minturn, about ten miles from my work in Vail Village, and I made it work car-less ! Hitchhiking daily is how I got around, and depending on where you live, it can be a great option for free transportation ( and a fabulous opportunity to make a new friend, acquaintance, or potential client, depending on your line of work!)

Before 2010 I had only hitchhiked once in my life: when my car ran out of gas on the way to work while living in Edwards. I was strapped for both time and cash so I walked to the nearest on ramp of I-70 and stuck my thumb out. This first experience was kindof nerve-racking! I stood outside on a snowy Colorado day, watching car after car pass by me, feeling a little more sorry for myself and my situation with every vehicle that seemingly sped up to pass me when they realized what I was up to.. It felt like I had stood there for an eternity, but about ten minutes after my now frozen thumb had made its debut appearance into the world of the hitchhiker, I got my first ride ever. Nervous about the probable serial killer/ rapist that awaited me inside the vehicle, I cautiously opened the door and and told the driver ( who was, to my surprise, a normal looking dude about the same age as I, also on his way to work) where I was trying to get to. "Oh, Vail Village? Me too! Hop in" was something like the answer I received. Success! We had a typical conversation to this part of the world: inquiring where we each work and what geographic location we resided in before finding the ski town haven that is the Vail Valley. I got dropped of to work on time, and even got a ride back to my car that afternoon ( no thumb necessary either, the girl just stopped!) when I was seen walking on the side of the road with the red badge of honor that exclaims " I don't know hot to pay attention to my gas gauge!" swinging from my hand ;)

When I traveled to Hawaii soon after, in the spring of 2010, I was a bit disappointed at first to find out how far my hostel was from the town of Pahoa (4 miles), beach (16 miles), and local farmers markets(4-20 miles). At that time I didn't realize that many of the locals didn't even own a set of wheels - not even bikes - but relied solely on hitchhiking. We hitched everywhere - multiple times a day - and I was so surprised and delighted every time someone would go out of their way to get us to where we where going safely. I learned that hitchhiking alone was the fastest way to get anywhere, although in groups we rarely split up (unless there where more than 3 people) because we where together, having fun, and it didn't necessarily matter how long it took to get somewhere. We had no where to be, really, we where on Hawaii time. The second most efficient way to hitchhike was in a group of all girls, but honestly, I don't ever remember waiting more than 30 minutes on any occasion.

Mango Road Puna, Hawaii
It was in Hawaii as a hitchhiker where I got the chance to drive down mango road, a thin winding road on which giant lush mango trees engulf you from both sides, laying in the back of a pick up truck. I got sunned on and rained on, and the experience of the road and the wind and the sky and the stars, all right there to see and more importantly, FEEL. On my face, my back, my toes, freely exchanging my breath with the living jungle around me. We got rides from locals, hippies, haolies, musicians, and sometimes even tourists.

Although not all of my hitchhiking experiences had been positive in Hawaii (the drunk Hawaiian local who picked us up with an almost-finished bottle of rum in between his thighs who later came back to the hostel with a gift and probably hopes for a late night rendevouz ) there have been several people that seem to have been sent by angels to scoop me up from the side of the road. a

I visited the Big Island again in 2012, and my six weeks spent there where relaxing, enlightening, friendship-forming, and I learned a lot about myself on many levels. I visited places I had never been to my first time around: lava fields, tide pools, ecstatic dance, all gotten to by hitchhiking ;) The day of my 9 p.m return flight home the sky was grey and a light rain was falling as I caught my first ride to the main Pahoa intersection. I had left 5 hours early to make sure I got to Hilo airport (about 30 miles away) safely and on time. I thought it might take me a while to catch a ride (or a few) getting that far, but I had not displayed my " :) Hilo Airport - Mahalo! "  sign for 5 minutes when a lady pulled over and said she would give me a ride. We got to talking, and upon finding out how much time I had until my flight, she invited me back to her home to relax before my flight.

How sweet! A cute little deer giving his monkey friend a lift !
I took the offer and was so astounded by the beauty of the property she lived on when we arrived! Her landlord had many acres of lychee trees, through which we walked, picked, and ate lychee fruit straight from the branches. It all seemed to be coming together - I had only tried lychee for the first time on this trip, and could not get enough of them! I would buy 5 lb bags at the farmer's market and they would be gone within days! It seemed only natural that this woman would be living on land that grew them in such a bounty, but what she was about to offer me was so much more magical.

She was a massage therapist, and when we entered the bungalow she put on some soothing meditative music. She began asking me about myself and I couldn't help but divulging my (very much coming up on this trip) crazy relationship to food and my body. We sat on the floor and talked for a few hours and the wisdom and words she spoke seemed like the perfect things I needed to hear at that moment. After talking with her it helped me to realize that I was exactly where I needed to be in that time of my life, and that I still had a lot of growing to do.

It was almost time for my flight, but before she dropped me off, we went to visit and feed her beautiful horses. I love horses and hope to have a few to share my future land with someday. I am a horse according to the Chinese horoscope, and growing up my Russian grandmother Tamara would always send me picture books of horses and little horse figurines. It was a very special experience to be able to commune with these majestic creatures as a final gift from Hawaii. I left the islands with one more friend and a lot of Aloha, and I have hitch hiking to thank for that.

I came back to a warm, green Vail and was re-united with my sweet puppy Shadow, and my trusty Pontiac Grand Am that had been serving me well since 2007. It was a beater for sure, but aesthetics aside it was mechanically sound and "got the job done." I drove it around for a few weeks until I didn't want to afford the towing fee + a new year of registration and insurance. So I decided to hitch hike all summer long.

There's a corner leaving Minturn that if you stand on, are a woman, and don't dress like a total crazy lunatic, you will get picked up within 5 minutes. That was my experience anyways. The days when my outfits where crazy hippie-tastic where the days where I waited maybe 7 minutes ;) The first time someone in a Mercedes stopped to pick me up (I almost didn't even stick out my thumb for that one, but I'm glad I did!) I was shocked! Lots of people said something along the lines of "Oh, I used to hitchhike when I was younger," and most people where super friendly and nice, again, many of them going out of their way to get me to work on time. Thank You! I even got picked up several times by people I knew and once by a lady that works at the Vitality Center with me!

Sure there where days when I rode my bike into town, but I was happy to have another, free, option of transportation when I didn't feel like making the 20 mile roundtrip haul.

I encourage people to hitchhike ! Be safe, have fun, and get around for free!

Here are some of my tips for hitchhiking:

-If you are new to it, and nervous, do it with a buddy until you get comfortable.
-Don't hitchhike at night if you can help it.
-My experience (in the Vail Valley) has been that the more "normal" I look and dress, the more likely people where to pick me up because they felt less threatened (they told me this).
-If you get a weird vibe from someone who stops to pick you up, you have every right to refuse the ride! If you don't feel comfortable simply telling them no, make up an excuse! Don't take a ride with someone you don't feel safe with ! (Asking where they are heading before telling them where you are going makes this easier since you can just say you are trying to get to somewhere else!)
-Hitch from an area where cars can easily and safely pull over
-Tell someone where you are going
-Use a sign
-Take multiple rides .. someone may only be able to get your half way, but if they can drop you off somewhere where you are likely to easily get picked up again, no worries!
-Pick up hitchhikers yourself! Rack up that hitching Karma :)

I know a lot of my friends and family where worried about me hitchhiking, and that the "hitchhiker culture" is different from place to place. I have even noticed that is is a lot harder to get a ride from Avon or Edwards than it was from Minturn. (About 7 miles away from each other) Hopefully this post has created some peace of mind for people that think hitchhiking is unsafe everywhere; its definitely not! Would I hitch on the South side of Chicago? Probably not unless I was in a real jam, plus there is cheaper public transportation there. Colorado? Yes. Hawaii? Yes. I look forward to many future hitchhiking adventures and a big shout-out to my friend Dan who is soon embarking on a backpacking trip across South America! May many safe hitches and new friends greet you on your travels!

Aloha!

Have fun and be safe out there !

Sofie K 

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Latin Night Dinner Recipes - Spanish Rice with Tilapia

A photo of Spanish rice I found on the internet .. ours also had corn and blackbeans :) Yum!

I cooked an amazing meal last night! I think this dinner turned out the best that I have ever cooked for several reasons - I was in the mood to cook and was inspired to try something different, I was cooking for people, and I actually looked up and based the dishes on recipes instead of just "winging" it ;)

Not our house, but it was just as beautiful :) 
Everyone was hungry by the time dinner was ready, and a candle-lit room with a salsa lounge soundtrack added to the lovely ambiance in which this food was enjoyed.



Dairy Free, Gluten-Free, Egg-Free

The Main Dish: Spanish Rice and Orange Zesty Tilapia

Fish:
Marinade Tilapia (We had about 4 big pieces) in : 1/4 c. oil (I used veggie oil, but coconut oil, olive, or canola would work here), zest of 1 orange, juice of 1 orange, 1 tsp. oregano, 1/2 a jalapeno, and one bunch fresh cilantro finely chopped. I marinaded the fish in the fridge for about 2 hours and the flavores came through in an amazing way ! Cook in a skillet by placing all the fish and all the marinade and cooking on medium heat on both sides until fish is flakey and cooked fully through. Although I enjoyed this recipe, next time I will use lemon zest and lemon juice instead of orange because I didn't love the orange-ey flavor it gave to the fish, and think I would prefer lemon instead. To serve: Squirt with fresh lime juice.

Rice: I began by boiling the brown rice in a separate pot (I was making a lot so I knew the rice would need at least 1-1.5 hours to cook at this high altitude, and since the recipe called for cooking the rice with rest of the ingredients for 30-35 minutes, I thought it was a good idea to start ahead of time.) In a large pot I sauteed 3/4 of a large white onion in veggie oil until golden brown. (The recipe called for 1-3 cloves of garlic here too, but I had none so I skipped it.) Next I added 1 tbs ground dry ginger, 2 tbs ground black pepper, 1/2 tbs ground cloves, 1/2 tbs of chili powder, and 1 tbs. cumin to to the onions and stirred well. (Again, I was making a HUGE pot, the recipe called for half the amount of these spices to make about 4 cups of rice .. we  .. we ended up with about 6-8 cups of rice.) Next, I added the half cooked brown rice (in water) to the onions and spices, as well as 4 cups of yellow cherry tomatoes, halved, as well as about 2 tsb. sea salt. and a generous few squirts of Valencia hot sauce, half a jalapeno with seeds from the whole jalapeno, and 2 bay leaves. I cooked this combination of things until the rice was done and then added a can of organic black beans and a package of organic frozen corn to the mix, and let it simmer for another 5 minutes. (Other optional ingredients could include: peas and chopped bell peppers.) To serve: Top with freshly chopped cilantro and a squirt of lime juice.

The Sides: Steamed Veggies, Mushrooms, and Avocado

Veggies:
I steamed zuchinni, broccoli, red and yellow bell peppers (all chopped) in a bit of water, salt, and valencia hot sauce. I enjoyed the light flavor of the veggies (not too-seasoned) paired with the rich flavors of the main dishes.

Mushrooms: I sauteed the mushrooms in a bit of oil, salt, and a lot of black ground pepper until tender. Yum! I love shrooms!

Avocado: The avocado would have been fabulous on its own, but after I chopped it and layed it out on the plate I sprinkled a tiny bit of sea salt with a squirt of lime juice on it for a little extra love :)

I chopped up 1/4 of the fresh raw white onion so people could spoon it in with their rice if they wanted, and also put some fresh cilantro on the table for extra seasoning.

I was so happy with these dishes!! They where fresh and delicious, and I cooked so much that I was able to freeze 3 portions of the rice and still have leftovers in the fridge for the next few days ! ( I live with 3 roommates, so we'll see about that last part! ;)

I am definitely going to make Spanish rice again, and am even interested to try the fish marinade (with lemon this time) on tofu in the spirit of total veganism which I have not yet embraced ;) Enjoy!

And for desert: Why not have some delicious dates (deglet noor or medjool) sprinkled in a bit of almond butter and whole sunflower seeds :)

Love, Peace, Prosperity and Healthy Happy Eating!
Sofie

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Osho on Possessiveness and Love

This quote spoke fiercely to me - it resonates somewhere deep inside. Love is a gift to be received moment to moment. 


"Osho: There is nothing worse than this that you can do, that you are capable of: reducing a being to a thing. And that's what possession is. 

Only things can be possessed; beings cannot be possessed. 
You 
can have a communion with a being.
You can share your love, your poetry, your beauty, your body, your mind.
You can share but you cannot do business.
You cannot bargain.
You cannot possess a man or a woman.
But everybody is trying to do that all over the earth.

The result is this madhouse we call the planet earth. You try to possess -- it is naturally impossible, it cannot happen in the very nature of things. Then there is misery. The more you try to possess a person, the more that person tries to become independent of you, because every person has a birthright to be free, to be himself or herself. You are trespassing on the privacy of the person, which is the only sacred place in the whole world. Neither Israel is sacred, nor is Kashi sacred, nor is Mecca sacred.

The only sacred space in the true sense is the privacy of a person -- his or her independence, the beinghood. If you love a person you will never trespass. You will never try to be a detective, to be a Peeping Tom, peeping into the privacy of the other person. You will respect the privacy of the other person. But just look at the so called lovers -- husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. All they are doing, around the clock, is finding ways to trespass, to enter into the private world of the other person.

They don't want the other person to have any privacy. Why? If the person has independence, privacy, individuality, they are afraid. The person tomorrow may not love them -- because love is not something stagnant. It is a moment, it is nothing to do with permanency. It may continue for eternity, but basically love is a phenomenon of the moment. If it happens again in the next moment you are blessed. If it does not happen you should be thankful that at least it did happen before.

Remain open: perhaps it may happen again -- if not with this person, then with another person. The question is not persons, the question is of love. Love should remain flowing, it should not be stopped. But in their stupidity people start thinking, "If this person goes out of my hands then I am going to starve my whole life without love." And he does not know that by trying to hold this person permanently in his captivity, he will starve. He will not get love. You cannot get love from a slave.

You cannot get love from your possessions; from your chair, table, house, your furniture, you cannot get love. You can get love only from a free agent whose uniqueness is respected by you, whose freedom is respected by you. It is out of the freedom of the other that this moment of love has happened. Don't destroy it by trying to possess, by trying to hold, by creating a legal bondage, a marriage. Let the other be free, and remain free yourself. Don't let anybody else possess you either. To possess or to be possessed, both are ugly.

If you are possessed you lose your very soul. Lovers love only while they are not yet in a fixed relationship. As the relationship settles, love disappears. Once the relationship is fixed, instead of love, something else takes place: possessiveness. They still go on calling it love, but you cannot deceive existence. Just by calling it love you cannot change anything. It is now hate, not love. It is fear, not love. It is adjustment, not love. It is compromise, not love. It can be anything -- but not love.

The deeper you try to understand, the more it will become clear to you that love and hate are not two things. It is just a linguistic mistake to call them love and hate. In the future, at least in psychological treatises and books, they will not be using "and" between the two. In fact it is better to make one word, "lovehate." They are two sides of the same coin."
Join me on Facebook