There has been a certain question plaguing my life lately. What do I want out of life? What do I want right now? What do I want in the near future? Do I want to stay in Vail, do I want to go somewhere else?
My mind can easily get lost in racing thoughts of all the possibilities there are to experience in life, and the anxiety that comes with these thoughts is literally like a plague, removing me from the present moment while I get lost in daydreams of potential future outcomes.
But it is not a physical destination I am seeking, rather, a mental, emotional, and physical place that I theoretically and philosophically know is available to me at any moment, although I hardly ever choose to experience it "just because I can."
So rather than dream about a place to escape to, where I believe all my struggles will magically disappear, I am going to stay put, here in Vail (or possibly living with my friend Julie in Gypsum, for more of a sense of community, support, and to save on rent this winter,) and practice being where I know I want to be, here. (Gypsum is in Eagle County so I don't really consider it leaving, since I will keep my same job and same relative location.)
So what do I know I want? And how can I achieve those things here and now?
Self- Love and Self- Acceptance. Being my self instead of looking at others and wishing I had their life, their friends, their body, their whatever! Loving my own personal journey, including the happy, the difficult, and the "wretched" times I encounter.
Peace. To find peace, tranquility, and calm in times of busy-ness (especially at work), self-doubt, and anxiety. To take moments to breathe, and realize that "right here in this moment, I am OK."
Gratitude. Finding things daily to be grateful for.
Adventure. Excitement! Fun! Experiencing new ideas, new people, and new places. There are plenty of places close to home that I haven't ever been to, yet I dream about going somewhere totally new. There are so many things to do here: bike, raft, hike, swim, snowboard, walk, run, camp, but I hardly do any of them because I allow my negative thoughts to rule my life!
A Healthy Body. Feeling awesome in my body by getting daily exercise and eating well all the time! Feeling strong and flexible, nimble and fast!
Friendship. To connect with people I love through sharing time, space, ideas, laughter, fun, smiles, adventures, and joy!
Spirituality. Connecting with my higher self and Source daily!
Family. Staying connected with my family through resources like Skype! And visiting them, of course. (A trip is in order!)
Alternative-minded Ideas. Homemade, DIY, raw food, natural hygiene, using less money, eco transportation (biking and hitch-hiking), gardening, loving unconditionally.
Tomorrow I plan to begin my internet cleanse. What does that mean? Spending time on the internet for only UP TO an hour a day, but hopefully less. I will go online only to blog, check e-mail, and my work schedule.
I also am implementing a daily meditation ritual - starting with 10 minutes a day. 10 minutes to start each day, first thing in the morning, simply sitting and observing my breath and state of being. I am not going to try and eliminate thoughts, rather, to practice mindfulness and observing thoughts (hopefully without engaging them) as they arise, and practice watching them with non-attachment.
Exciting!
I am pretty scatter brained right now. I need some serious detox in my life.
Peace and loving life,
Sofie K
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