Feeling less than optimal and Couch to 5K

So the past few days I have been feeling really lacking in energy, I've had a headache, and just not feeling like doing anything!

Makes me think of the youtube vid "shit new age girls say" - "I'm soo detoxing right now!" LoL. Is that what is going on for me? Maybe, I haven't eaten junk food since my binge after the 5 full days of raw food I did.. I forget when that was, maybe 2 weeks ago? As for bingeing, I've been doing pretty good. Every time I have the urge to starve myself or skip a meal, even though I am hungry, I remind myself that being healthy is more important than being thin and that eating healthy will allow my body to find it's own unique perfect weight naturally.

Does this mean I've been eating whatever I want? Yes - and what I've wanted has been natural, vegan (some fish though), yummy food cooked from mostly scratch at home, lots of fruit, veggies, hummus, and dates, quinoa and brown rice. I have definitely over-eaten on the heavy foods (date-nut balls, quinoa) because of random impulses to eat when I wasn't hungry, but I am happy to report that it has not been anything as extreme as a full-on binge, more like an extra helping of something when I really was already full. I don't like the feeling of myself when I am too full, and I definitely am hoping for the day when I can just eat enough and be satisfied, and eat only when I am hungry.

I have been relaxing on my few days off, and hoping that my check-off for the Reflexology treatment with Lisa goes well tomorrow at the spa.

I am thinking of beginning the C25K (Couch to 5K) program when I return from Chicago. It's a 9 week program to get you from not running at all, to being able to run a full 5K (3.2 miles) or 30 minutes straight :) I'm excited about it !

I also have been being more regular with Yoga lately, which has been nice. There have been several days at the yoga studio where I have felt very strong, but today (a home practice with friendlyuniverseyoga.com) I felt pretty weak and tired.

I know there is one very specific lifestyle choice I still have to change which will affect my health dramatically in a positive way, I am sure!

Peace, Love, and Healthy Choices,
Sofie K

Quick & Simple Quinoa Dinner :)

You know what I LOVE? Good food, simply and fast! Sometimes I like to spend a few hours in the kitchen making an elaborate 4 course meal, but when I come home from work or a day out, I just want to feed myself something nourishing and yummy with minimal effort.

So that's what I did today!

Pictured is a wonderful dish of cooked quinoa with veggies and a side of salad.

Gluten-Free, Salt-Free, Vegan, Vegetarian  Organic, Fresh!






Here's the recipe:

Cook quinoa until tender and "salt" with Bragg's Liquid Amino Acids. (For those who have never tried liquid amino's, it comes as a "spritz" bottle and tastes like soy sauce, but with a lot less sodium, no preservatives, artificial colors or flavors, and they are non-GMO.) I cooked about 4 cups of quinoa to have some for leftovers.

Add 3-4 cups of mixed greens to steam for 1-2 minutes until wilted, and 1 cup of chopped bell peppers of all colors. Cook for 1-2 minutes and mix into quinoa.

Add a teaspoon of hummus to the mixture, some more Bragg's to taste and enjoy!

For the salad I just used mixed greens and balsamic vinegar with a tiny bit of walnut oil for dressing.

//edit//

Although I love how cooked food tastes, and my mind sure does still crave it still, I notice what a decrease in energy and increase in digestion time I experience after eating it. Pretty wild since this was a very healthy meal according to most people's "standards." I did eat a lot of food and that (I know) has something to do with it, but I have been eating mostly raw (some conventional juices) during the day: fruit, smoothies, salads, juices, veggies, and in the afternoon/night having some cooked food. Wild.

Bon Apetit!

Sofie K

Hitchhiking: A freely awesome way to get around!

I spent the whole last summer living in Minturn, about ten miles from my work in Vail Village, and I made it work car-less ! Hitchhiking daily is how I got around, and depending on where you live, it can be a great option for free transportation ( and a fabulous opportunity to make a new friend, acquaintance, or potential client, depending on your line of work!)

Before 2010 I had only hitchhiked once in my life: when my car ran out of gas on the way to work while living in Edwards. I was strapped for both time and cash so I walked to the nearest on ramp of I-70 and stuck my thumb out. This first experience was kindof nerve-racking! I stood outside on a snowy Colorado day, watching car after car pass by me, feeling a little more sorry for myself and my situation with every vehicle that seemingly sped up to pass me when they realized what I was up to.. It felt like I had stood there for an eternity, but about ten minutes after my now frozen thumb had made its debut appearance into the world of the hitchhiker, I got my first ride ever. Nervous about the probable serial killer/ rapist that awaited me inside the vehicle, I cautiously opened the door and and told the driver ( who was, to my surprise, a normal looking dude about the same age as I, also on his way to work) where I was trying to get to. "Oh, Vail Village? Me too! Hop in" was something like the answer I received. Success! We had a typical conversation to this part of the world: inquiring where we each work and what geographic location we resided in before finding the ski town haven that is the Vail Valley. I got dropped of to work on time, and even got a ride back to my car that afternoon ( no thumb necessary either, the girl just stopped!) when I was seen walking on the side of the road with the red badge of honor that exclaims " I don't know hot to pay attention to my gas gauge!" swinging from my hand ;)

When I traveled to Hawaii soon after, in the spring of 2010, I was a bit disappointed at first to find out how far my hostel was from the town of Pahoa (4 miles), beach (16 miles), and local farmers markets(4-20 miles). At that time I didn't realize that many of the locals didn't even own a set of wheels - not even bikes - but relied solely on hitchhiking. We hitched everywhere - multiple times a day - and I was so surprised and delighted every time someone would go out of their way to get us to where we where going safely. I learned that hitchhiking alone was the fastest way to get anywhere, although in groups we rarely split up (unless there where more than 3 people) because we where together, having fun, and it didn't necessarily matter how long it took to get somewhere. We had no where to be, really, we where on Hawaii time. The second most efficient way to hitchhike was in a group of all girls, but honestly, I don't ever remember waiting more than 30 minutes on any occasion.

Mango Road Puna, Hawaii

It was in Hawaii as a hitchhiker where I got the chance to drive down mango road, a thin winding road on which giant lush mango trees engulf you from both sides, laying in the back of a pick up truck. I got sunned on and rained on, and the experience of the road and the wind and the sky and the stars, all right there to see and more importantly, FEEL. On my face, my back, my toes, freely exchanging my breath with the living jungle around me. We got rides from locals, hippies, haolies, musicians, and sometimes even tourists.

Although not all of my hitchhiking experiences had been positive in Hawaii (the drunk Hawaiian local who picked us up with an almost-finished bottle of rum in between his thighs who later came back to the hostel with a gift and probably hopes for a late night rendevouz ) there have been several people that seem to have been sent by angels to scoop me up from the side of the road. a

I visited the Big Island again in 2012, and my six weeks spent there where relaxing, enlightening, friendship-forming, and I learned a lot about myself on many levels. I visited places I had never been to my first time around: lava fields, tide pools, ecstatic dance, all gotten to by hitchhiking ;) The day of my 9 p.m return flight home the sky was grey and a light rain was falling as I caught my first ride to the main Pahoa intersection. I had left 5 hours early to make sure I got to Hilo airport (about 30 miles away) safely and on time. I thought it might take me a while to catch a ride (or a few) getting that far, but I had not displayed my " :) Hilo Airport - Mahalo! "  sign for 5 minutes when a lady pulled over and said she would give me a ride. We got to talking, and upon finding out how much time I had until my flight, she invited me back to her home to relax before my flight.

How sweet! A cute little deer giving his monkey friend a lift !

I took the offer and was so astounded by the beauty of the property she lived on when we arrived! Her landlord had many acres of lychee trees, through which we walked, picked, and ate lychee fruit straight from the branches. It all seemed to be coming together - I had only tried lychee for the first time on this trip, and could not get enough of them! I would buy 5 lb bags at the farmer's market and they would be gone within days! It seemed only natural that this woman would be living on land that grew them in such a bounty, but what she was about to offer me was so much more magical.

She was a massage therapist, and when we entered the bungalow she put on some soothing meditative music. She began asking me about myself and I couldn't help but divulging my (very much coming up on this trip) crazy relationship to food and my body. We sat on the floor and talked for a few hours and the wisdom and words she spoke seemed like the perfect things I needed to hear at that moment. After talking with her it helped me to realize that I was exactly where I needed to be in that time of my life, and that I still had a lot of growing to do.

It was almost time for my flight, but before she dropped me off, we went to visit and feed her beautiful horses. I love horses and hope to have a few to share my future land with someday. I am a horse according to the Chinese horoscope, and growing up my Russian grandmother Tamara would always send me picture books of horses and little horse figurines. It was a very special experience to be able to commune with these majestic creatures as a final gift from Hawaii. I left the islands with one more friend and a lot of Aloha, and I have hitch hiking to thank for that.

I came back to a warm, green Vail and was re-united with my sweet puppy Shadow, and my trusty Pontiac Grand Am that had been serving me well since 2007. It was a beater for sure, but aesthetics aside it was mechanically sound and "got the job done." I drove it around for a few weeks until I didn't want to afford the towing fee + a new year of registration and insurance. So I decided to hitch hike all summer long.

There's a corner leaving Minturn that if you stand on, are a woman, and don't dress like a total crazy lunatic, you will get picked up within 5 minutes. That was my experience anyways. The days when my outfits where crazy hippie-tastic where the days where I waited maybe 7 minutes ;) The first time someone in a Mercedes stopped to pick me up (I almost didn't even stick out my thumb for that one, but I'm glad I did!) I was shocked! Lots of people said something along the lines of "Oh, I used to hitchhike when I was younger," and most people where super friendly and nice, again, many of them going out of their way to get me to work on time. Thank You! I even got picked up several times by people I knew and once by a lady that works at the Vitality Center with me!

Sure there where days when I rode my bike into town, but I was happy to have another, free, option of transportation when I didn't feel like making the 20 mile roundtrip haul.

I encourage people to hitchhike ! Be safe, have fun, and get around for free!

Here are some of my tips for hitchhiking:

-If you are new to it, and nervous, do it with a buddy until you get comfortable.
-Don't hitchhike at night if you can help it.
-My experience (in the Vail Valley) has been that the more "normal" I look and dress, the more likely people where to pick me up because they felt less threatened (they told me this).
-If you get a weird vibe from someone who stops to pick you up, you have every right to refuse the ride! If you don't feel comfortable simply telling them no, make up an excuse! Don't take a ride with someone you don't feel safe with ! (Asking where they are heading before telling them where you are going makes this easier since you can just say you are trying to get to somewhere else!)
-Hitch from an area where cars can easily and safely pull over
-Tell someone where you are going
-Use a sign
-Take multiple rides .. someone may only be able to get your half way, but if they can drop you off somewhere where you are likely to easily get picked up again, no worries!
-Pick up hitchhikers yourself! Rack up that hitching Karma :)

I know a lot of my friends and family where worried about me hitchhiking, and that the "hitchhiker culture" is different from place to place. I have even noticed that is is a lot harder to get a ride from Avon or Edwards than it was from Minturn. (About 7 miles away from each other) Hopefully this post has created some peace of mind for people that think hitchhiking is unsafe everywhere; its definitely not! Would I hitch on the South side of Chicago? Probably not unless I was in a real jam, plus there is cheaper public transportation there. Colorado? Yes. Hawaii? Yes. I look forward to many future hitchhiking adventures and a big shout-out to my friend Dan who is soon embarking on a backpacking trip across South America! May many safe hitches and new friends greet you on your travels!

Aloha!

Have fun and be safe out there !

Sofie K 

Latin Night Dinner Recipes - Spanish Rice with Tilapia

A photo of Spanish rice I found on the internet .. ours also had corn and blackbeans :) Yum!

I cooked an amazing meal last night! I think this dinner turned out the best that I have ever cooked for several reasons - I was in the mood to cook and was inspired to try something different, I was cooking for people, and I actually looked up and based the dishes on recipes instead of just "winging" it ;)

Not our house, but it was just as beautiful :) 

Everyone was hungry by the time dinner was ready, and a candle-lit room with a salsa lounge soundtrack added to the lovely ambiance in which this food was enjoyed.



Dairy Free, Gluten-Free, Egg-Free

The Main Dish: Spanish Rice and Orange Zesty Tilapia

Fish: Marinade Tilapia (We had about 4 big pieces) in : 1/4 c. oil (I used veggie oil, but coconut oil, olive, or canola would work here), zest of 1 orange, juice of 1 orange, 1 tsp. oregano, 1/2 a jalapeno, and one bunch fresh cilantro finely chopped. I marinaded the fish in the fridge for about 2 hours and the flavores came through in an amazing way ! Cook in a skillet by placing all the fish and all the marinade and cooking on medium heat on both sides until fish is flakey and cooked fully through. Although I enjoyed this recipe, next time I will use lemon zest and lemon juice instead of orange because I didn't love the orange-ey flavor it gave to the fish, and think I would prefer lemon instead. To serve: Squirt with fresh lime juice.

Rice: I began by boiling the brown rice in a separate pot (I was making a lot so I knew the rice would need at least 1-1.5 hours to cook at this high altitude, and since the recipe called for cooking the rice with rest of the ingredients for 30-35 minutes, I thought it was a good idea to start ahead of time.) In a large pot I sauteed 3/4 of a large white onion in veggie oil until golden brown. (The recipe called for 1-3 cloves of garlic here too, but I had none so I skipped it.) Next I added 1 tbs ground dry ginger, 2 tbs ground black pepper, 1/2 tbs ground cloves, 1/2 tbs of chili powder, and 1 tbs. cumin to to the onions and stirred well. (Again, I was making a HUGE pot, the recipe called for half the amount of these spices to make about 4 cups of rice .. we  .. we ended up with about 6-8 cups of rice.) Next, I added the half cooked brown rice (in water) to the onions and spices, as well as 4 cups of yellow cherry tomatoes, halved, as well as about 2 tsb. sea salt. and a generous few squirts of Valencia hot sauce, half a jalapeno with seeds from the whole jalapeno, and 2 bay leaves. I cooked this combination of things until the rice was done and then added a can of organic black beans and a package of organic frozen corn to the mix, and let it simmer for another 5 minutes. (Other optional ingredients could include: peas and chopped bell peppers.) To serve: Top with freshly chopped cilantro and a squirt of lime juice.

The Sides: Steamed Veggies, Mushrooms, and Avocado

Veggies: I steamed zuchinni, broccoli, red and yellow bell peppers (all chopped) in a bit of water, salt, and valencia hot sauce. I enjoyed the light flavor of the veggies (not too-seasoned) paired with the rich flavors of the main dishes.

Mushrooms: I sauteed the mushrooms in a bit of oil, salt, and a lot of black ground pepper until tender. Yum! I love shrooms!

Avocado: The avocado would have been fabulous on its own, but after I chopped it and layed it out on the plate I sprinkled a tiny bit of sea salt with a squirt of lime juice on it for a little extra love :)

I chopped up 1/4 of the fresh raw white onion so people could spoon it in with their rice if they wanted, and also put some fresh cilantro on the table for extra seasoning.

I was so happy with these dishes!! They where fresh and delicious, and I cooked so much that I was able to freeze 3 portions of the rice and still have leftovers in the fridge for the next few days ! ( I live with 3 roommates, so we'll see about that last part! ;)

I am definitely going to make Spanish rice again, and am even interested to try the fish marinade (with lemon this time) on tofu in the spirit of total veganism which I have not yet embraced ;) Enjoy!

And for desert: Why not have some delicious dates (deglet noor or medjool) sprinkled in a bit of almond butter and whole sunflower seeds :)

Love, Peace, Prosperity and Healthy Happy Eating!
Sofie

Osho on Possessiveness and Love

This quote spoke fiercely to me - it resonates somewhere deep inside. Love is a gift to be received moment to moment. 

"Osho: There is nothing worse than this that you can do, that you are capable of: reducing a being to a thing. And that's what possession is. 

Only things can be possessed; beings cannot be possessed. 
You 

can have a communion with a being.
You can share your love, your poetry, your beauty, your body, your mind.
You can share but you cannot do business.
You cannot bargain.
You cannot possess a man or a woman.
But everybody is trying to do that all over the earth.

The result is this madhouse we call the planet earth. You try to possess -- it is naturally impossible, it cannot happen in the very nature of things. Then there is misery. The more you try to possess a person, the more that person tries to become independent of you, because every person has a birthright to be free, to be himself or herself. You are trespassing on the privacy of the person, which is the only sacred place in the whole world. Neither Israel is sacred, nor is Kashi sacred, nor is Mecca sacred.

The only sacred space in the true sense is the privacy of a person -- his or her independence, the beinghood. If you love a person you will never trespass. You will never try to be a detective, to be a Peeping Tom, peeping into the privacy of the other person. You will respect the privacy of the other person. But just look at the so called lovers -- husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. All they are doing, around the clock, is finding ways to trespass, to enter into the private world of the other person.

They don't want the other person to have any privacy. Why? If the person has independence, privacy, individuality, they are afraid. The person tomorrow may not love them -- because love is not something stagnant. It is a moment, it is nothing to do with permanency. It may continue for eternity, but basically love is a phenomenon of the moment. If it happens again in the next moment you are blessed. If it does not happen you should be thankful that at least it did happen before.

Remain open: perhaps it may happen again -- if not with this person, then with another person. The question is not persons, the question is of love. Love should remain flowing, it should not be stopped. But in their stupidity people start thinking, "If this person goes out of my hands then I am going to starve my whole life without love." And he does not know that by trying to hold this person permanently in his captivity, he will starve. He will not get love. You cannot get love from a slave.

You cannot get love from your possessions; from your chair, table, house, your furniture, you cannot get love. You can get love only from a free agent whose uniqueness is respected by you, whose freedom is respected by you. It is out of the freedom of the other that this moment of love has happened. Don't destroy it by trying to possess, by trying to hold, by creating a legal bondage, a marriage. Let the other be free, and remain free yourself. Don't let anybody else possess you either. To possess or to be possessed, both are ugly.

If you are possessed you lose your very soul. Lovers love only while they are not yet in a fixed relationship. As the relationship settles, love disappears. Once the relationship is fixed, instead of love, something else takes place: possessiveness. They still go on calling it love, but you cannot deceive existence. Just by calling it love you cannot change anything. It is now hate, not love. It is fear, not love. It is adjustment, not love. It is compromise, not love. It can be anything -- but not love.

The deeper you try to understand, the more it will become clear to you that love and hate are not two things. It is just a linguistic mistake to call them love and hate. In the future, at least in psychological treatises and books, they will not be using "and" between the two. In fact it is better to make one word, "lovehate." They are two sides of the same coin."

Some things show you exactly where you are at ...

This post is honest and not sugar-coated. At least I will try to be.

Some situations tend to show you exactly where you are at in terms of your behaviors, patterns, and belief systems. Something that you thought you had "let go" of may pop up in the most unexpected of places to let you know that your work in that area is not yet completed. (Will it ever be?) I'm not sure.

The fact that I was very intensely shown last week how much more work I have to do and how much more courage I have to express on my journey of finding a healthy, balanced relationship to food and my body was neither unexpected, nor had I thought I had "let go" completely.

This realization though, seemed to present me with a re-occurring opportunity that was more clear than ever before: make the choice to do something different this time!

As I expressed to my dear roommate Julie, since the age of about 14 or 15 I have either been on a diet (severely restricting my caloric intake; even if I was eating - I was not eating enough,) during which the pressure of dieting mentally exhausted me, emotionally drained me, and physically made me feel better about my appearance, but would often leave me sluggish and lethargic, or in a binge eating cycle, where I would eat as much food as I could possibly get my hands on, not restricting what I ate, when, and how much. (I never went back to eating non-seafood meat though, since I cut it out in 2010.)

 There where many days that I didn't eat until 2 or 4 p.m, and then only once. There where weeks when I only ate raw food, drinking mostly juice. (I still totally believe in the power of raw food and juice cleansing - but only for health reasons (in my case) and  if for weight loss, only with a healthy mindset and outlook towards food and body image. ) During this part of the cycle I usually started feeling better and better about my appearance. My puffy cheeks (from salt, processed foods, and dairy)  would sink in, exposing my cheekbones, which I love. My stomach would feel and look flatter, and depending on how long I could keep myself sane in this cycle of restriction, I would begin to see and feel my hip bones.

On the "downward" slide of the roller coaster, in a binge eating cycle, during I which lost or (more recently) chose to allow myself a sense of total loss of self-control in terms of what I would allow myself to eat. And because I knew that soon I would have to begin restricting myself again, I tried to get "as much in" while I was giving myself the freedom. There where many times when I ate 5 or 6 bagels with hummus or cream cheese, and entire pizza, followed by a pint of ice cream. Other foods I loved to binge on where pasta with tomato sauce and cheese, oreos, chocolate chip cookies, starbucks breakfast sandwiches (because I got them free), chocolate bars, and rice or quinoa with peanut butter, soy sauce, and sriracha. I would often eat until my stomach was bloated and couldn't move. I never made myself throw up, so my digestive tract would be wrecked for days after a particularly heavy binge (or the first one after a dieting cycle)..

Why am I writing this all on the internet, for anyone and their mothers who wants to, to read it?

I just feel like being honest. This is my personal blog, first of all, where I share about my life and lifestyle and in the spirit of being honest and not ashamed of the struggles we face .. I felt like coming on here and writing about it.

And also to say that I am fucking tired. Tired of wanting to look like a supermodel because that is what I see on tv (some of you may think .. yeah but you don't even try  .. not even a little bit .. that doesn't mean in my mind that desire wasn't there, but I just gave up .. ) tired of constantly thinking about food, what I can or cannot eat, when Im going to eat, how much, etc. I just want to eat healthy!

I know I have said this so many times before but as I said before I am clearly still working on it.

Since starting a relationship with a guy that I really like, the pressure I have put on myself to lose weight and work out has been immense. I actually was able to "keep it together" on my diet better than most times because I had a little extra motivation, ( I didn't want to look fat in front of my man :) But I still lost it a few times and binged. It came to the point where I was feeling so much pressure to diet when I was with him, and so much relief from binging because I was not trying to control myself or constantly dreaming about the food I "couldn't" eat, that I made the decision in my mind to end the relationship.

I explained to him (vaguely .. very very vaguely) that I felt like a "burden was lifted off my shoulders" when we weren't hanging out, but never really went into the detail of what I was going through. I had mentioned (again, vaguely) before that I had some struggles with food, but I completely omitted the fact that I still deal with them on a day to day basis.

He said I was being "disappointingly vague" and that maybe we should take some time apart if I felt like that. I was so sad. I mean, this is what I thought would be the best thing for me until it was said and done. The idea of losing such a great friend and lover because I could not be honest about what I was going through, and show a little more courage in dealing with my issues was devastating.

I said I wanted to hang out, and committed to not being on a diet. I am still committing to eat healthy, enough, and what I want. It's hard for my mind to deal with because I know I will not lose weight as fast as if I am not eating enough. But I know that If I just consistently ate healthy and stayed active doing the things I love to do my body would naturally "even out" to a healthy and appropriate weight for me.

So that is my goal, my intention. To eat when I am hungry, eat enough and not be on a diet!

Sofie K.
With love, peace and self-acceptance. 

Breathing Space: Discovery Exercise 1 of 12

I am embarking on a breath-work journey for positive personal transformation, inspired by a book I recently picked up at the library: Breathing Space by Katrina Repka and Alan Finger. My main intentions for doing breath-work are: to increase my sense of peace and well-being, learn more about my self and what I am going through (specifically in the areas related to food, eating, body-image, self-worth, and self-esteem), increase oxygen in my body, pain relief (sore muscles from exercise), and to observe my mind and ego at work.

Please join me on this journey of self-discovery through breath work if you are intrigued; there are so many benefits !

Here are 18 benefits of breathing exercises (from onepowerfulword.com) :
If you are already convinced, scroll past these to get to the exercise!

1. Breathing detoxifies and releases toxins
2. Releases tension
3. Relaxes the mind/body and brings clarity
4. Relieves Emotional Stress

5. Relieves Pain
6. Massages your organs
    The movement of the diaphragm during the deep breathing exercises massages the stomach, small intestine, liver, and pancreas. The upper movement of the diaphragm also massages the heart. When you inhale air your diaphragm descends and your abdomen will expand. By this action you massage vital organs and improve circulation in them. Controlled breathing also strengthens and tones your abdominal muscles. 
7. Breathing increases muscle
8. Strengthens the immune system
9. Deep breathing improves posture (and visa versa!)
10. Improves quality of the blood
11. Increases digestion and assimilation of food
12. Improves the nervous system
13. Strengthens the lungs
14. Makes the heart stronger.
15. Assists in weight control
16. Boosts energy levels and improves stamina
17. Improves cellular regeneration
18. Elevates moods and combats physical pain

Breath Focus 1: DISCOVERY
"If you practice this exercise every day for two weeks, you will soon be more aware of your breathing patterns. You will find that they may change according to the time of day and your emotional state. The exercise can be done whenever you like: try experimenting with it at different times of the day. By studying the breath, you will learn to identify when you breathing is not working to your best advantage. This self-study (svadyaya in Sanskrit) is the essence of the yogic practice; through svadyaya you can begin to identify the patterns and tendencies that are keeping you bound up inside, and find the freedom that is yoga. As you practice with the breath, you will experience changes particular to you: they might be subtle at first, and you may not notice them immediately, but the more you practice, the more control you will gain over your breathing - and eventually over your life. The breath is a powerful tool. If you have not worked with it before, be prepared to experience some unusual side effects: as the breath moves inside you for the first few times, you may become emotional. Or you may simply fall asleep. Your body is responding. Big changes are coming. The journey is just beginning."

Because I love you so much ;) I have recorded the exercise so that you may simply play it back, listen to me giving the instructions, relax, and enjoy! If you prefer to read along, I have also typed out the instructions below.

(Almost all breathing techniques in yoga are done through the nose. If you are stuffed up, you can do this exercise with your mouth slightly open.)

Copy & Paste this link to listen to this exercise: http://soundcloud.com/sofiakovalenko/breath-exercise-1-discovery

Time: 10-15 minutes
Props: (optional) Bolster, Pillow, Eye Pillow

1. Find a quiet place, free from distraction. 

2. Lie down on your back. If your lower back feels sensitive, bend your knees (you can place them over a bolster or pillow, if you have one handy.) 

3. Close your eyes, and if you like, place and eye pad over them.

4. Start to breathe in and out through your nose, becoming aware of your breath. Without judging it in any way, notice how the breath moves in your body. Where does it begin and end? Is it fast or slow? What pattern does it make as it enters and leaves?

5. Notice the composition of your breath. Is it smooth and even? Short and choppy? Deep or shallow? Hard or soft? When you inhale, does your torso expand or contract? What happens when you exhale?

6. If you become aware at any point that your mind has wandered, gently draw your attention back to the breath.

7.  Now place one hand on your belly, and one hand on your chest. Bring your awareness to your chest. Do you feel your breath expanding both your chest and upper back as you breathe in? Do your ribs also flare out to the sides? Are there any areas where your breath is unable to move freely?

8. Bring your awareness to your belly. As you breathe in, do you feel the front of your belly lifting? Do you feel the breath causing movement in your lower back? What about your pelvic floor: can you feel it moving with your breath?

9. Are there any other descriptions of your breath that come to mind? Feel free to be creative.

10. Take a few minutes to continue your exploration, then slowly and gently roll to one side and come back up to a seated position.

In-JOY!


Personally, I plan to do this exercise 3 times a day for the next 2 weeks: once upon waking, once mid-day, and once right before bed. I will update the blog about any insights, revelations, and realizations I have and I encourage you to do the same in a journal, a blog, or just consciously think about what experiences you have during these first few weeks of Discovery.

For even more inspiration and mind-body-heart integration, go ahead and to do this yoga podcast, seriously, it is worth it! 

http://friendlyuniverseyoga.com/wp-content/uploads/HolyHips.mp3
For more amazing podcasts, visit www.friendlyuniverseyoga.com

Then, watch this amazing TEDx talk by yoga teacher Shannon Paige:

Love, peace, and awareness,

Sofie K.

make-up free living :)

Earlier this summer I made the decision to throw away all my make up. I hardly wore it anyways this past year, but to completely throw it all away was still a pretty big step for me. Although they where few and far between, there where still days when I whipped out the mascara or liquid liner in moments of insecurity.

To see all my make-up in the trash was both liberating and frightening. I was symbolically vowing to take even more effort to accept myself exactly the way I am, even if I have learned to like the way I look with "thicker, fuller lashes ;)" I was anticipating that it would be difficult to have absolutely no crutch to lean on, though, but made a promise to work through any moments when I felt I needed to wear make-up. I knew I would be stronger for it.

Well guess what. I haven't had any moments like that. Of course some days my self esteem has been higher than others, but over all I feel like my confidence is steadily increasing daily. Why? Because I have been learning to accept and love myself for exactly who I am and want to be, instead of what I think others want me to be like. (Notice that I said "what I think others want me to be like" instead of "what others want me to be like." What we think others want from us is (much of the time) just projections from our own minds that are extremely telling of how we believe we should be like, and has nothing to do with what the others want from us at all. The people in your life who truly love you could not care less if you are wearing make-up, a burlap sack or a banana suit ;))) (Although they may worry that you will freeze your ass off parading around in a burlap sack.) I digress.

 I haven't missed the make-up at all.

The thing about make-up is (I never used to leave the house without it), when you wear it every day you get used to seeing your face with make-up on only, and you become disconnected from the face behind the make-up. It is a stranger, unfamiliar, and we often forget that in its simplicity and purity, it too is beautiful. The lips still sing sweetly without firetruck red lipstick, the cheeks still blush when you see the one you love, and the eyes shine and radiate affection, understanding, and honesty, never missing that pound of eye liner and shadow.

If you choose to be a television watcher, a magazine reader, or a driver on any interstate planted with billboards, you are constantly being bombarded with make-uped, photoshopped, edited images of women among whom there are hardly (if ever) any examples of natural beauty. And yes, they are beautiful too, but they are not real.  I could go on and on about how much cosmetics and other body altering companies profit by manipulating you to feel like you are not good enough, naturally, but at the end of the day it is you who must decide for yourself that you do not need to change yourself in any way to be accepted more by others, and most importantly to accept and love yourself. 

There I have done it. I am placing the responsibility back on us to begin loving ourselves raw and un-altered. You don't look better with make-up on, you just look more like every other girl on the streets and in the media. You, unchanged, are unique, and I hope someday you will know it, believe it, and own it, like I am very much beginning to do.

I love you for exactly what you are and am wishing for you the best day ever! Today, and the next day and the next day and the next day after that.

Finally, I would like to give a public thanks to my Mom, who hardly ever wears make-up and is constantly (although I rarely tell her this) inspiring me to be stronger by being a consistent example of an empowered woman with high self esteem. Thanks Mama!

With love, care, and empathy,
Sofie K.

P.S. It is awesome to take no time at all to get ready in the morning and feel good about how you look too!


P.P.S. Not ready to completely ditch the make-up, but want to start making steps to empower yourself and begin to be comfortable in your skin? Start participating in Makeup-Less Mondays, where once a week you commit to wearing no makeup at all, all day long. It's kindof a thing, Google it ;) Much love to you sisters! (and brothers!)

"To be beautiful is to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others.
You need to accept yourself."

Internet Cleanse

Too much internet time. Too much mind-distracting from facing difficulties that arise within it.

I should take a break from surfing the webs. I dislike TV (most of the time), yet I use the internet in the same way.

So what am I trying to achieve? A more honest, genuine, easy conversation between myself and my mind to gain depth in understanding to what is really going on in there. What are really the motivations behind my thoughts, actions, re-actions. I want to change some of those things and in order to do that I need to fully understand why I do them in the first place right?

I want to become intimately interested in everything about my-self and that means going deep. That means confronting the hardest ugliest most stubborn parts of me and sitting down together like two dear friends, catching up. Asking how they are doing. Actually listening. Not thinking that I already know. Not assuming.

Ok.


Sofie K. 

Zion Beach, Illinois 2012

Me, motoring the paddle board as Princess Solomia
guides the voyage.

Zion Beach State Park, Illinois

This post is coming to the blog a bit late, but I am remembering what a fun few days my family and I had at Zion Beach State Park in Illinois.

For the first outing, we took Solomia (one of two beautiful cousins), my Dad and Grandma. We had fun doing handstands, being mermaids, and taking turns on Dad's paddle board. Me and Solomia also took turns being the paddle board motor... hehe.

The second time it was Grandma, Me, Mom, and Dad. A nice day in the sunshine, and the waves got big that day! I tried surfing, fell. Tried again. Repeat, a lot. It was awesome. Never really "surfed" a wave on that huge paddle board, maybe I will get the hang of it next summer ;)

Life is a Beach, no?

Paddle Board Warrior Queen

Grandma, Me, and Mama :)

Mama and Tato (Dad) having silly beach fun :)

The silliness will not cease :P

More Silliness :))))))

Grandma and I, first a water cleanse. Then, a sand and hot stone beach massage :)

Mom and I <3

Cousin Love. Me and Solomia. 

So Much LOVE at the Beach. Who created this beautiful message?

I am going to visit my family again in a few weeks. It's going to be so fun!

Earthy Juice and Waking Up Early :)

Green Apple!
Romaine!
Spinach!
Carrot!
Green Grape!
Lemon!
Celery!

Raw Juice!
YUM!

I have been eating better and going to sleep early (between 8:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.) and have been waking up on my own at about 7 in the morning. (And feeling mostly fanfreakingtastic!) I've even felt a lot less crampy on my menstrual cycle this time around, and although I know not working during it has a lot to do with it, I am super thankful to my moon cup and all the fruits and veggies in my body that I know are helping too!

I am moved into Julie's driveway :) and Shadow is having a fun time chasing the new cat in the house (We have a 4th roommate for the month of October who has brought two cats with her :), while Moon insists that he play with him all day.

The furniture is all moved out of the "living room," which has been transformed into a beautiful yoga/meditation space, which I am excited to finally utilize today. (Yoga, especially during the first 2-3 days of my flow is usually a major no.)

Yesterday Julie and I did a huge Costco run and picked up a cart full of fresh, raw, mostly organic produce :) Holy grapes, raspberries, blackberries, apples, romaine, spinach, carrots, celery, etc. etc. etc. We created a beautiful juice last night that was one of the two best juices I had ever made! Amazing how something turns out so delicious when you are making it to share with someone you love!

Feeling good and this house feels like a home :) Everything happens for a reason, they say, and I am glad to have moved in to our little nook in Gypsum a month early! It would be swell if the Blu Ox was still starting, but maybe that is just another lesson I had to learn: If you buy a vehicle from 1979, you better be a mechanic ;) or dating one ... 

Peace & Love
Sofie K

The Energies of the Earth and Moon are mirrored in our wombs and the cycles of our womanhood.

"Did you know that every woman is born with every egg she will ever have? Tucked deep inside the crevices of our tiny bodies, waiting patiently for our maturity, these eggs form in our ovaries when we are just three months past conception, still living peacefully in the perfect environment of our mother's womb. In essence, when your mother was a babe in your grandmother, you were a seed within her, an egg within her cells, listening to your grandmother's heartbeat. Much like the sea embraces the Earth, our bodies embrace our wombs. Our wombs are our centers, and they do far more than produce babies - they give birth to the power that is in us. The rhythms of the universe, the ebb and flow of the tides of life, and the energies of the Earth and Moon are mirrored in our wombs and the cycles of our womanhood." From Womb and Uterine Health in Rosemary Gladstar's Family Herbal: A Guide to Living Life with Energy, Health, and Vitality. 

Today this beautiful quote and book was shared with me by a dear friend, and now I share it with you.

An example of the monthly calendar where
the pink days are period days, and the striped
days are the next predicted period. The day
marked with the flower is the predicted
ovulation date. 

A screenshot of the temp.
chart with no data entered in.
As you can see, there are
small ads on the bottom, but
they are not too intrusive.

I would also like to share a really great app I found for smart phones called "Woman Log." Not only does this app track your monthly menstrual and ovulation cycles, but it also has an option where you can enter daily your waking temperature to more accurately track your ovulation dates. You can then view the temperatures as they change daily, or view them in a chart feature that spans the entire month. This can be used for NFP (Natural Family Planning), a natural form of birth control, or if you are, on the other hand, trying to conceive. (If you wish to use the temperature/chart feature you will need a basal thermometer which you should be able to get at most drugstores or online :)

The app has a beautiful and easy to use interface and different skins to choose from. Before I was using Period Tracker Lite, but switched to Woman Log because of the added features of being able to record and chart the changes in your temperature to predict ovulation. For a simple menstrual tracker, Period Tracker Lite is great and is very easy to use!

Thank You for stopping in sweet friend!
Have a wonderful day :)

XOXO
Sofie

Peanut Quinoa and Arugula Asian Salad Recipe :)

Prepare tofu 2-4 hours (or night before) beforehand by "baking" tofu with soy sauce (tamari or shoyu) on a cookie sheet on top of oven range (or in oven). Cook on both sides about 10 minutes each.

Quinoa: Cook quinoa with sea salt until done, add curry powder and crunchy peanut butter

Topping for Quinoa: Steam Asparagus and Edamame in Nama Shoyu (tamari or soy sauce) with small diced ginger, 1-2 Tbs Coconut Butter and a little bit of water. Spices (Add before cooking): Bragg's Nutritional Yeast seasoning, Sriracha, Nama Shoyu (tamari or soy), crushed red pepper flakes, curry powder.

Arugula Salad: Mash an avocado, Nama Shoyu, and a simple vinaigrette with mixed greens and arugula. Add tofu (cubed), chickpeas, tomatoes, BASIL, and any other veggies and mix.

Prepare a beautiful presentation of all all this yummy deliciousness for yourself and any other (soon to be very grateful) guests <3 to feed your eyes as well as your creative soul!

In-JOY!

Always with LOVE and LIGHT
Sofie K.

Pineapple-Carrot-Ginger-Orange Juice. Raw Goodness!

Pineapple
Carrot
Ginger
Orange
JUICE


YUM!